Being driven over the edge

[Gypsy_lady]

Hello,
I came home found my boyfriend(BPD) in bed with another woman in spare bedroom. He tells me it's my fault because I won't commit. He says he is single or married, he says I need to marry him and make him an honest man! I said, this isn't the way! I'm still in shock and disbelief along with the hurt and pain! Being an empath has made it worse for me.
Is it just me, or does anyone else see a problem with this picture? Right now I can't even think straight.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[drained1996]

What do you think about the situation?  Was there a boundary crossed that you cannot allow?  Was what happened ok with you and you feel able to repair and move forward? 

All of these are questions for you and only you to answer.  Either way, whether improving a relationship or detaching and healing... .there are helpful tools and guides here.  As mentioned, nobody here can tell you what to do, but we are here either way.  If you have questions, thoughts or feelings you want to share keep posting for sure.  We are here.   

[Meili]

How's it going GL? Where are you at with things today?

Projection is a very common thing for pwBPD (people with BPD) to do. It's a maladaptive defense mechanism that is employed so that they do not have to face their own feelings of shame. By making it "your fault," he does not have to own up to what he's done.