Introduction

[Beginner]

Hi,

I'm new to this site. Just introducing myself now. My son (a young adult) was recently assessed as having BPD, dual diagnosed with substance abuse. My sister, now in her 60s, has BPD. I grew up watching how hard life was for her and my great fear was that I would have a child with BPD. So I was very careful to act the opposite of my mother. But here I am, living out this situation again. I love my son. He is seeking help. He is motivated, at least presently. I call myself a beginner because I feel like I am at the beginning of a long journey of understanding and learning and accepting.

Thanks

 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[livednlearned]

Hi Beginner,

You picked a great name 

The penny finally dropped for me with the genetic sensitivity part. I read Masterson's book on the Search for Self, one of the earlier ones to theorize the origins of personality disorders, and can see now that my son probably didn't have the genetics to overcome his first wave of abandonment depression at a very young age, setting him up for similar challenges every time life handed him some degree of rejection. Even as a good parent, I did not have the skills for his level of sensitivity, and many of them are counter-intuitive. Plus, I think sensitive boys can feel easily invalidated in a culture that equates manhood with being emotionally shut down, not helping their cause.

It is promising that your son is motivated. Is he getting treatment for both BPD and substance abuse?

LnL

[Mutt]

Hi Beginner,



I'd like to join livednlearned and welcome you to BPDFAMILY. I just wanted to say that perhaps you're at the beginning of your journey but we'll walk with you. You're not alone.