I think my wife is a high functioning BPD

[Craig1609]

My wife is a high functioning BPD. She has a career, we have a 22 month old daughter, and a good family. She has never sought help and is not aware. I am making this diagnosis based on my counselor and reading 'stop walking on eggshells '. Is there any hope that she'll recognize that she needs help?

How do I respond when she threatens to leave?

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[WifeInOz]

Hey Craig,

 I am sorry for what you are going through, as I am in the same situation with my husband. He is a very high Functioning Borderline, with a great job, he's very successful. I dont have any advice as to how to get them into therapy because as of now my husband will NOT go. I hope for your sake that your wife will agree.

Julie

[Tattered Heart]

My uBPDh is high functioning also. He has had supervisor roles in the past and was very good at them, but at home, he lets BPD show. As for getting someone into therapy, I don't know that there is a way. I was able to get my H into therapy a couple years ago and in order to do so I had to share some of the things going on in our home with others and they basically did an intervention on him. He went to therapy for about 6 months, then got bored with it, felt it wasn't helping, and quit. He won't go back again.

Unfortunately for the high functioning pwBPD, they often don't see their problem, where as a low functioning BPD knows that they are hurting, suicidal, and that somethign is wrong.

I would suggest that you begin read the info on the right side of the page. Maybe learning some tools will help prevent things from getting to the point where she threatens to leave. It's important to look at not just what she is doing, but how we are adding to the problems ourselves. Yes, we do play a role. ANd changing ourselves is more important than changing them. Before we can make things better, we have to stop making them worse.