What % of ex BPD's contact their ex over time?

[Bo123]

I know there is no exact number and there are extreme cases, but for a normal as normal can be with a high functioning BPD, just 16 hours a day almost every day, I wonder.  Few arguments, only 1 yelling argument in 3 years but constant low level BPD.  Had I recognized it, I could have minimized it, didn't know until it was over.  Female friends say she'll never find a guy who treated her as well as I did, but it doesn't matter, its over, she has moved on.  The worst part was 9 months after the break-up with email slams.  I never got a explanation of many questions, nor did I get to apologize for things I could have done better.  Once her parents(culture difference) put pressure on her not to marry, and she said she couldn't marry me, we never once had a serious talk to share our final thoughts, agree on how we would break up, nothing.  She just as I know now used me for 1.5 years to give herself a soft landing and keep dangling the carrot in front of me then disappeared.  Somewhat common from what I see.

How often on a wild guess does the leaving BPD ever contact the ex?

[JRT]

Sorry to know that you had to endure this... .I almost could have wrote this post about mine... .my BPD fiance' left when I took a business trip just a couple of weeks after moving in... .she blocked me from contact EVERYWHERE... .I never spoke to her again... .that was almost 2 1/2 years ago. I doubt that she ever will contact me... .however, I think the conventional wisdom is that most eventually circle back... .some sooner, some later and some MUCH later 5,10 or even 20 years.

[Confused108]

My ex painted me black at 14 yo. She found me 26 years later on Facebook.  So for 2 1/2 years she tried  flirting with me in a very subtle way. Then June 2015 I was so stupid and took her bait after she  swore up and down she still loved me. Then 2 months later told me she never did and it was a mistake. This was Sept 2015. Ive been painted black again since October 2015.

[Huh?]

My first ex (overt NPD) who cheated and left me for another dude.  She contacted me a few months after the break up (she sounded sad in her message) I ignored her.  Never heard from her again.  She got married to that guy, still together 9 years later.

The next girl I dated and was eventually engaged to, (Cluster B) cheated (she constantly accused me of wanting to cheat) cut me off, and married our neighbor.  They are still together I assume, 6 years later.  Never heard from her after being broken up... .although I saw her at the gym a few months ago and she wouldn't even look at me.  She just kept running laps around the indoor track... .literally a few feet from where I was working out.

My last fiancé (covert NPD) we were on and off for 4 years.  She pushed me away after we got engaged.  I did my best to try and make it work... .she refused to commit.  I'm pretty sure she cheated or wanted to and that prompted our first break.  She had a "friend" she kept talking about, seeing.  I would get frustrated we weren't moving forward, break up with her and immediately recieve the silent treatment.  Id always come crawling back.  The last time we got back together, she let it slip that she was dating others during our short 4-5 week breaks. She gas lite me, saying she already told me that... .she never did.  That pushed me to finally end it in August.  I was cut off immediately and even though, once again I tried to crawl back... .she has cut me off for good this time.  It's been almost 6 months.  She cut her mom off (after her mom cheated and her parents divorce) for seven years, until her mom wore her down.  So yeah, I'm black as black.

So yeah, those are my only three relationships.  All were abusive within the first month... .I'm a codependent and apparently a glutton for punishment. I'm done with these relationships, no more.  

All have two things in common.  1... .The HUGE abusive red flags within the first month (I was put down, gaslite, called gay, raged at, accused of wanting to cheat) And 2... .Me.  I'm taking myself out of the equation.