I'm at a loss... I can't deal with his emotional ups and downs sometimes

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

So I've been married to my SO for about 10 yrs and we have had the ride of our lives. We've been through it all... .emotional distress, addiction, physical violence, separation, and having our kids taken away. But about 4 yrs ago he got into rehab and we have been living in different cities. I have me kids and we still have a relationship(SO). But he is now having mood swings and becoming somewhat insecure. He has bi-polar disorder and I'm not ready to move in with him yet. He really wants it but I'm hesitant. We still have a strong connection but there's a distrust that I have to get over. I'm at a loss because sometimes it's a bit much and I just want to abandon all plans for us getting back together but, I know that he would wind up in a horrible place because I'm basically his only support. His family has ignored him completely and he would end up isolated from everyone and everything... .
So basically I don't even know what I want, all I know is that I'm awfully confused and I keep avoiding the issue all together, buying time I guess.

[howdoimanage?]

So I've been married to my SO for about 10 yrs and we have had the ride of our lives. We've been through it all... .emotional distress, addiction, physical violence, separation, and having our kids taken away. But about 4 yrs ago he got into rehab and we have been living in different cities. I have me kids and we still have a relationship(SO). But he is now having mood swings and becoming somewhat insecure. He has bi-polar disorder and I'm not ready to move in with him yet. He really wants it but I'm hesitant. We still have a strong connection but there's a distrust that I have to get over. I'm at a loss because sometimes it's a bit much and I just want to abandon all plans for us getting back together but, I know that he would wind up in a horrible place because I'm basically his only support. His family has ignored him completely and he would end up isolated from everyone and everything... .
So basically I don't even know what I want, all I know is that I'm awfully confused and I keep avoiding the issue all together, buying time I guess.

[Mutt]

Hi howdoimanage?, 



I'd like to welcome you to the group. I can see how that would be a difficult choice for you to make, it sounds like he needs to repair the r/s, if you move in, there's a slight chance that he may but there's no incentive for him. I can't tell you what to do, I would advise you to listen to your intuition, my guess is that he's anxious. I understand that his support system is almost non existent but you're not responsible for someone else's feelings. What I mean by that is it's not your responsibility to sooth him, things will be fine if you wait and sort out your own feelings.

I'd like to pose this question, is there a part of you that feels guilty for not choosing to move in with him?