Still Love Her, But She Moved On Fast - Any hope long term

[BeachTree]

Hi all,

I was in a long term relationship with someone diagnosed with BPD (untreated until the end). It was intense and deeply loving, we had some incredible times. She was my best friend, but also the person who hurt me the most.

The relationship was a rollercoaster with highs & lows, also steady periods. The lows were emotional chaos: a few suicide threats & self-harm, emotional coercion, and extreme pressure around marriage and kids. I often froze, appeased, or held back. Eventually, I ended things, even though I still loved her. I couldn't move forward in those conditions.

Two weeks later, she moved on and quickly escalated a new relationship, into our home, our bed. I felt destroyed. But part of me still misses her and wonders: is there ever a healthy path back from something like this?

Has anyone gone back after this kind of event? Did it work?

And what about the long term? She believes a solid commitment (marriage/kids) would fix everything, that not having it was the root of her distress. But I’m hesitant. That pressure was a big part of what broke me. Still, I wonder: could commitment actually stabilize things long-term? Or is that wishful thinking?

I'd really appreciate any insight or shared experience.