How many times?

[Gemini66]

How many times will I do this before I walk away? I'm going on three years and there have been at least 30 episodes, if not more with my uwBPD boyfriend.The triggers have become crystal clear. If I make plans with anyone and don't inform him in the right amount of time or in the right way, he immediately starts to spiral. I have altered my behavior in so many ways to try and avoid the issue, but I never seem to get it right. He tells me I am delusional, he is not controlling and encourages me to get out with friends. I have gotten to the place where it's not even worth it anymore. He also doesn't like if plans change and I don't inform him, even if it has no bearing on him. The other triggers are any perceived possibility my attention has slipped from him and if I am tired or have had a bad day and am not "on" enough for him. He often tells me how I was feeling, based on his observations and I have no idea what he's even talking about. He will say my energy was "off". Trying to understand a reality I cannot perceive is crazy making. Inevitably he will split and we break up. He always comes back and somehow manages to say all the right things. He recognizes his behavior and is accountable and will get back to therapy. I haven't flat out told him I think he might have BPD. He seems to be so enlightened and aware, until the next time I set him off. Add to all of this he still hasn't introduced me to a single member of his family, including his kids. He's met my entire family, children included, and friends and spends regular time with them. He's had a million excuses for not bringing me into his inner circle. But I wonder now if it has more to do with push/pull part of BPD. He wants me close on his terms, but not too close. I know the only way free from this is to block him and eliminate his ability to talk his way back in (he lives in another state). Why is cutting him off so hard and why does it feel so mean? If anyone has any encouragement about how you were finally able to say enough, I would welcome your input.