Ex Boyfriend BPD and Alcohol Dependence

[Depression = 72% of members]

Hi All
I didn’t go out with anyone for 20 years then met my ex in a church group.
He was funny sensitive we got to know each other over nine months as friends. He sat with me and my family he came in the church on his own & was so nervous I went to welcome him.
We started dating & it was intense wonderful there was a real connection friendship & romance. It was a natural flow and I thought I’d found my soul mate we spoke about marriage he said I had him forever.
He was the kindness best boyfriends ever had and we were best friends.
Then his behaviour started to change nasty jokes that were cutting and I felt so hurt & deflated. He was controlling and on edge a lot and it rubbed off on me. So controlling I mounted the pavement.
I felt I was in a cycle of abuse I’d get close to him again let down my guard then he’d say something again it was devastating. Oh but it’s only a joke he flirted in front of me after buying me flowers he’d always deny it & gaslight me.
The last time he’d only just come to meet me on holiday and he joked he’d said I was very horrible to someone in the pub. Then he gaslighted me & took no responsibility.
I felt like I was duped and lead on that an imposter took over but is this his BPD and self medication with drink ? He was admitted to a mental hospital once over night.
I couldn’t let him go even now I still love as nd care about him as I know he’s got a beautiful soul. I went out with someone else but I couldn’t truly connect because I haven’t moved on. We were in touch but I sent him a poem re the drinking and how I was affected and the imposter who takes over. So he was annoyed denying he drinks & hasnt contacted me since the end of May. He isolates & I’ve asked friends to check on him but he doesn’t reply. Thanks

[Lol90]

Hi All
I didn’t go out with anyone for 20 years then met my ex in a church group.
He was funny sensitive we got to know each other over nine months as friends. He sat with me and my family he came in the church on his own & was so nervous I went to welcome him.
We started dating & it was intense wonderful there was a real connection friendship & romance. It was a natural flow and I thought I’d found my soul mate we spoke about marriage he said I had him forever.
He was the kindness best boyfriends ever had and we were best friends.
Then his behaviour started to change nasty jokes that were cutting and I felt so hurt & deflated. He was controlling and on edge a lot and it rubbed off on me. So controlling I mounted the pavement.
I felt I was in a cycle of abuse I’d get close to him again let down my guard then he’d say something again it was devastating. Oh but it’s only a joke he flirted in front of me after buying me flowers he’d always deny it & gaslight me.
The last time he’d only just come to meet me on holiday and he joked he’d said I was very horrible to someone in the pub. Then he gaslighted me & took no responsibility.
I felt like I was duped and lead on that an imposter took over but is this his BPD and self medication with drink ? He was admitted to a mental hospital once over night.
I couldn’t let him go even now I still love as nd care about him as I know he’s got a beautiful soul. I went out with someone else but I couldn’t truly connect because I haven’t moved on. We were in touch but I sent him a poem re the drinking and how I was affected and the imposter who takes over. So he was annoyed denying he drinks & hasnt contacted me since the end of May. He isolates & I’ve asked friends to check on him but he doesn’t reply. Thanks

[Me88]

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