With Strong Reinforcement Boundaries Can Work Sometimes!

[zachira]

I have been in the process of going no contact or low contact with most of my large extended family for several years now. Some of the flying monkeys are now honoring the fact that I will not be reestablishing contact with my sister with NPD or putting up with the abuse of other family members. It has taken constant reinforcement and reminders when they have committed terrible transgressions like being told by one flying monkey I deserved to be abused in front of the whole family because I was talking badly about the family when I wasn't. From my experiences, there are basically two kinds of flying monkeys: 1) people who are as abusive as the main abusers whom I have ended up having no contact with as I am no longer invited to any of their family functions or contacted by them, which I am fine with. I don't reach out to them either. 2) people who are capable of changing their behaviors with constant reinforcement and my educating them about how abusive certain family members are.