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BPDFamily.com
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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
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Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
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Sense of entitlement or demands
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Topic: Sense of entitlement or demands (Read 515 times)
K.G.
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 39
Sense of entitlement or demands
«
on:
February 18, 2017, 08:18:04 AM »
I wanted to ask about other people's experiences in terms of sense of entitlement or demands. My ex bf would constantly be asking for money. In the discard phases he would always say that the main reason for separating with me is because I did not bring him money... .and this was constant. It always seemed a little odd to me ... .was he using the demand for money to test my loyalty? At times he would say that it was to pay for spending time with him ... .I was always seen as not being very generous when in fact I paid for everything: food, home repairs, bills and holidays... .I wonder whether the demanding is more of narcissistic trait? Also constant talking with sometimes no coherence... .is that more of a narcissistic trait too? I am still unpacking my experiences in order to try to heal from this experience.
I would be interested to hear about other people's experiences on this point.
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FSTL
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 191
Re: Sense of entitlement or demands
«
Reply #1 on:
February 19, 2017, 12:09:54 PM »
The giveaway with mine was when she said "I think I am entitled to ... ."
She invented a factual reality in her head and that formed the basis for her entitled thinking. I cheated on her (I didn't, she just felt like I did), so she cheated on me, etc. I put up boundaries in the beginning and wanted to go slowly, later, this made her feel entitled to date other people, because I tool so long to commit to her, etc.
I was depressed (or so she felt), so she felt entitled to discard me and take up with someone new.
She was entitled to have someone take care of her, and when her expectations weren't met... .
The list goes on... .entitlement seems to be part of the their narcissistic expectations of us.
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marti644
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Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 313
Re: Sense of entitlement or demands
«
Reply #2 on:
February 19, 2017, 12:17:50 PM »
Mine was the same. Always complained about money and how cheap I was. Started as soon as the seduction phase was over. Of course I am anything but cheap so it was pretty confusing. Like you FSTL I set pretty clear boundaries in the beginning so this is likely one of the facets of her feelings of abandonment towards me.
Scary thing is I realized recently that she had told me on several occasions how she had this friend who would sleep with any guy and do anything for money. I'm starting to realize more and more that she was talking about herself. I'm not judging just scary that I was in such a FOG I missed that.
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Aesir
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 187
Re: Sense of entitlement or demands
«
Reply #3 on:
February 19, 2017, 01:53:21 PM »
My ex was very entitled. Over time she became more demanding in spite of the fact that I pretty much bank rolled the entire relationship. When I could not spend as much she complained more and never stepped up herself. It was all MY fault.
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FallenOne
Formerly Matt.S
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 321
Re: Sense of entitlement or demands
«
Reply #4 on:
February 20, 2017, 08:21:46 AM »
Mine complained that I was selfish and self-centered... .Yet I paid for mostly everything we did together, gave her rides, let her use my car, dropped what I was doing to help her with things, bought things for her and so on and so forth... .but I was selfish...
Mine complained that I was cheap... .Yet I bought things for her, paid her way when we went out to eat and do things together, bought things for her son, worked when she just lived off of SSI, provided for both her and her son, paid the bills and so on and so forth... .but I was cheap.
See where this is going?
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