Hello

[Warrior33]

I am currently dating a female with BPD and I feel myself becoming depressed. I have always been a friendly and somewhat outgoing person but I have become less confident and feel isolated now. I really love my partner and I want to fix this relationship. I have never felt so in love with someone and I truly feel we are made to be together, but I know our realationship is not healthy and I feel so alone because I have no one to talk to this about. I feel everyone I know would just tell me to leave her but I truly don't want to. I want to give this relationship a real try. I have pretty much taken  everyone else in my life out because it causes fighting between us and the only person I have to talk to about this is her mother and I don't feel like I'm always heard with her because of course she is her child so I always feel like she takes her side. I need help working on my emotions and how to go about making this relationship better and easier for myself.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[WifeOfProbableBP]

What about counseling for you, or couples counseling? I read a book called, "Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist- How to End the Drama and Get on With Life," by Margalis Fjelstad. It's a pretty good book. It helps you put things into a more realistic perspective. It talks about communication skills & setting boundaries. I wish it were a little more organized & provided more examples, but I find myself referring to it often when dealing with certain situations. I've just recently started counseling and working on my emotions myself. Fingers-crossed that it improves things. If I were you, I wouldn't talk about the relationship too much with her mother.

[Warrior33]

Yea I have thought about counseling but one I feel like if I were to go the obvious thing they would tell me is to leave the relationship and two, she doesn't like that idea either. She thinks they'll talk me into leaving and gets mad when I talk about going. I don't like talking to her mom but I don't have anyone else to talk to about this and I feel like I'm screaming on the inside for someone to listen.

[Tattered Heart]

Hi Warrior33 ,

Welcome to the board! You are choosing a courageous path to continue trying to make things work with your pwBPD. All of us on this board want to continue our relationship with our pwBPD. You will find lots of support here. On the right side of the page are many workshops on learning how to communicate better with our pwBPD and how to take care of yourself.

Here is a link to one of our first workshops on the Do's and Don't in a BPD Relationship:

https://bpdfamily.com/discussions/search-info2.htm