One Way Ticket to Kansas... explanation on a recovery step.

[Baby Bug]

I just finished reading this book.  What does "emotional distance" mean.  Lately, I've changed my behavior in that I'm not so accommodating and willing to do things for him but I'm not sure if that is what is meant by emotional distance.   I feel like it's my way of breaking free from the constant attention he likes. 

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

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[ArleighBurke]

I see emotional distance as having your own separate emotions from them and not matching their emotion.

So when they feel something major - like someone annoys them and they feel HATE - you can listen to them complain, you can empathise with them, but you don't have to feel hate as well.

My wife works long hours and has a high workload. (She can fix it - but does nothing to). I can listen to her complain, and tell me how stressed and tired she is, but I don't have to feel those things myself. So after I hear her, I may say "I'm going to the shops with the kids - want to come?". She may explode saying she's too stressed and now could I - but her mood doesn't change my mood - so *I* can still go!

My wife often calls me "unemotional" and "uncaring" because I don't "share" her emotions. I can empathise, but they are HER feelings - not mine!