Raging?

[daverisk]

My SO did receive a dx that I never heard of... .translated for the Czech it is called Self-Confidence Personality Disorder.  So far no one I've talked to has heard of something like this and it may be unique to the Czech version of the DSM. 

Anyhow, I remain convinced my wife is BPD.  The one piece missing is raging... .she really doesn't do that.  She can get into bad moods easily... .but rarely does she have rants and raves... .normally that only happens when I have confronted her with inappropriate behavior whether that is spending too much, sexting, or imply cheating on her part... .then she quickly and loudly flips the script and places the blame on me... .if she's sexting it's not her behavior but my snooping that is the issue... .the one time she admits to cheating... .and in all cases of sexting... .it is largely my fault because I don't give her enough attention.  In fairness, I have spent half our married life attending college... .that doesn't excuse her behavior... .but validates (and I have validated this to her) the feeling of not getting enough attention.

No, the biggest emotion that exists is an attitude of neglect and irritation at my presence... .and my needs.  Lots of time looking at her phone, her programs... .irritated when I want attention... .or God forbid... .sex.  Is raging a key trait in BPD?  How is it expressed?

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[heartandwhole]

Hi daverisk,

In my relationship, pwBPD didn't rage, either, although we had a long distance relationship, so don't know if it would have eventually happened. He was more reflective, caring, sensitive. In his own words, he was very uncomfortable expressing anger.

Anger and difficulty controlling anger is part of the DSM criteria for BPD, but each person is unique, so someone can have BPD/traits and not tick all the boxes.

From the above link:

"Easily bored, they may constantly seek something to do. Individuals with this disorder frequently express inappropriate, intense anger or have difficulty controlling their anger (Criterion 8). They may display extreme sarcasm, enduring bitterness, or verbal outbursts. The anger is often elicited when a caregiver or lover is seen as neglectful, withholding, uncaring, or abandoning."

heartandwhole