Newbie

[littleox]

Found out my wife has BPD. She has had a range of diagnoses over the past twenty years but this seems to fit perfectly. I my self have bipolar with major depression. This diagnosis has thrown me for a loop and I feel overwhelmed. I am in therapy and so is she but just need a perspective of people going through the same thing. We have been together for 25 years. I feel like such a fool and am angry at myself for putting myself through this. Ready to get off roller coaster ride. Not good for my mental health. Hpw do you manage to keep going?

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Naughty Nibbler]

Welcome littleox:   
I'm so sorry you are struggling with your partner's BPD as well as your depression and bipolar conditions. How are things going with your own therapy?  Are you taking some meds?  When we take care our ourselves and are able to manage our own health issues, it can better equip us to deal with our partner's issues.

I'm glad that your partner is in therapy as well.  What are some of your current challenges with your partner?  We can't change another person, but we can adjust the way we interact with a partner and the way we react to them.  By doing that, you can make things better for you.  Many times the dynamics of a relationship can improve by just one person making some adjustments and acting as the emotionally intelligent one (even if their partner doesn't). 

If you are able to share details of some specific issues, we can suggest some communication tools to check out.  A good place to start is check out the links in the right hand margin.  They lead to some articles and workshops where you can learn about some strategy to use with your wife.

We look forward to hearing more of your story.  Take care.