Do you ever feel like the odds are against you?

[JaxWest]

So, I have not had any contact since February (when she reached out to me). I have not made an attempt to reach out to her since January. I have been very careful to keep our groups separate now. During the whole ordeal, she reached out to my friends several times to the point that my friends said she was making an excuse to be around me. Well, we had an opening in my office and it appears that her friend will get a job offer. So, now I have her friend working in my office. I feel pretty confident that this friend knows nothing about the past. However, what concerns me is that she has used my friends and coworkers as a way to get information about me. My counselor has said she has stalking tendencies, based on emails I have shared with her and some of the things that have happened. Three coworkers have kind of alluded to the fact that they think she was stalking me. So, they have not shared any information. Now, she has a source of information that has no idea what was going on.

Am I wrong to be a little nervous? I have no idea how I get myself into these situations. I am a passive, mild mannered person.

[Mutt]

Hi JaxWest,



I recall one of the first appointments with my P ( psychologist ) after our split, I was distressed, anxious, depressed, I think that you get the picture and I was worried about the things that she said about me to friends and family, now I'm not saying this to scare you, but what my P said is simply "You don't have to worry about that Mutt, it's not on you, it's her". I couldn't believe that the advice was so simple, yet so true.

[JaxWest]

I am meeting with a counselor as well. It has helped a lot. She has echoed some of those words as well. Part of my concern is if she would take it farther and make a claim or something. She was initially reaching out to my coworker and asking about me... .dating life and etc. So, naturally, my friend told me. When it got out that she asked about my dating life, she was saying my friend was creepy, so she didn't know what to say to him. In reality, she was the one that kept initiating the contact with him and kept asking about me. Somehow she was the instigator, but was blaming him like it was his fault she asked. When we had our argument, she would not talk to me. She just blame shifted and made me sound like I was crazy or something.

[Mutt]

I completely understand the stress. Have you talked a lawyer? You can get a free consultation over the phone. Usually up to a free half hour or an hour, you can also call several and get second opinions, it sounds complicated, you may need legal help.

[JaxWest]

I completely understand the stress. Have you talked a lawyer? You can get a free consultation over the phone. Usually up to a free half hour or an hour, you can also call several and get second opinions, it sounds complicated, you may need legal help.

I hope it doesn't come to that. She has been quiet for a while, but with the first BPD after being silent for a few months, the weird phone calls started. That one lead to police involvement, changing phone numbers and etc. This one is more anxious, so I am hoping she was just that afraid, hence the reason she was going through my friends instead of me.