isit me? help

[emmamay_x]

First time ever posting very nervous... .
Iv a boyfriend of 4years with BPD... he only told me 2years into the relationship I thought there was something but would never of thought it would effect is the way it has expeahially me I'm so confused it's really hard being with someone you love hurting themselves self harming and also abusing me! The closeat person do things change? Should I stick around things are getting worse with his moods and rage I can never do anything right or sat the right thing it's like my presence just triggers him of I'm so emotionally drained and don't know how much longer I can go on please help?

[DaddyBear77]

Hello emmamay_x - welcome to the bpdfamily. Thank you for posting. It's a big first step and we're glad you did it.

It sounds like things are really hard for you right now. I am so sorry to hear that. I see that your boyfriend has shared with you a diagnosis - that's a positive thing. Is he still seeing a therapist / counselor for these issues?

We love our pwBPD (person with BPD traits) very much, and many times we feel like if we only try harder or take a different approach, we can change them and all these issues will finally go away. Unfortunately, none of us have the true ability to change another person. We can only change ourselves, and we can only change ourselves if we dedicate ourselves to that change. The same goes for you AND your pwBPD. That's why it's so important to NOT get caught in the trap of "if I only did xxx" - we can't help anyone when we're stuck there.

What kinds of things are you doing to take care of yourself? This is also critically important.

I look forward to hearing more of your story. Please keep posting.

~DaddyBear77