Anxiety is creeping in

[Furbaby Mom]

I wrote another post about my two sisters in law who I see as having pretty severe BPD traits.  SIL 1 has black listed me as had SIL 2 a little while ago.  Recently, in the past few days, some things seem to be really off.  Both sisters are still "friends" with my family on social media and SIL 1 has been posting about how unhappy she is which caused my family some alarm.  She is having car issues and money problems too.  She purchased a car she can't afford and now there are a million things wrong with it, blah blah, it's the dealership's fault and she's going to sue. 

SIL 2 called my husband 1 and 1/2 weeks ago while we were away four times in a row.  After the fourth call, he answered thinking something was wrong.  She said she was "in our neighborhood with her boyfriend" and wanted to know why we weren't answering our door. This is after being told off by her and not hearing a single word from her since Thanksgiving. 

Often times, when one sister is on the outs with my husband and I, the other one will step in to prove they are more normal, sane, whatever it may be.  They jump on opportunities to talk poorly about each other.  So because SIL 1 caused a big drama the previous week, it was not that shocking SIL 2 contacted my husband, however, she has never just shown up to our home.

With all of this going on in the background, my husband acts like it doesn't bother him, but how could it not?  He seems to be having a really hard time managing his emotions lately and I can't help but to think it has to do with all this crap. 

The biggest reason why my anxiety is heightened has to do with my work.  I am building a practice and creating an audience and a piece of my work is publishing articles on my website.  I talk about all different issues and in the past have talked about my relationship and all that.  I posted an article yesterday and received a very confrontational "reply."  The reply included some personal information that in theory could be found about my husband online, but it would take a lot of research.  I am thinking whoever sent it knows both of us just because of some of the content.  The "reply" used some vile disgusting words about me and my work as well as my relationship with my husband.  It was short, but incredibly threatening to me.  My husband brushed it off as he writes online too and he said bad comments come with the territory, which is true.  Like I said though, this one seemed more personal.  I hate to say it, but I would not be shocked if it was one or both sisters because I know how they feel about me and my marriage. 

I am having trouble managing my anxiety around all this.  We have a few functions coming up where I may see them and I am feeling overwhelmed with emotions.  Knowing that the one sister came to our home makes me wonder if she will do it again.  What do I say to her if she shows up unannounced?  Am I just reading too much into all this?   
 

[Naughty Nibbler]

Hey Furbaby Mom:    

Both sisters are still "friends" with my family on social media and SIL 1 has been posting about how unhappy she is which caused my family some alarm.

Social media + BPD person = disasters.  The more people interact and react to the drama, the more it will likely continue. You might want to advise your family that you choose to stay removed from the drama and don't want input on SIL 1's social media posts. You might want to share information with your family about the  KARPMAN DRAMA TRIANGLE   and how to stay out of unhealthy triangles

I am building a practice and creating an audience and a piece of my work is publishing articles on my website.  I talk about all different issues and in the past have talked about my relationship and all that.  I posted an article yesterday and received a very confrontational "reply."  The reply included some personal information . . . I hate to say it, but I would not be shocked if it was one or both sisters because I know how they feel about me and my marriage.

I'm sorry about the comments.  I can understanding how they would be disturbing.  I can understand how your first thoughts were that it was one of the SIL's. Your husband is right, however, people troll the Internet and love to make controversal comments for the drama.  They love it when they can get a reaction to their comments. I viewed a YouTube video recently on "Empathy vs. Sympathy".  It presented more than one version of "Empathy".  I read some of the comments about the video.  My goodness, some people got riled up and clearly had the two meanings reversed, but they still went to battle over it, .

It could be one of your SIL's making comments, or both.  A vindictive person, with BPD, would likely love access to the blog of someone they seek vengence on.  You may need to take steps to delete the comments as soon as they appear, use some type of editing where you approve all comments before they appear, or where someone has to log on.  None of these will stop your SIL's from trying to post negative/disturbing comments, but it can slow them down.  Perhaps if you can make it harder for them to comment, it could deter them.

I am having trouble managing my anxiety around all this.  We have a few functions coming up where I may see them and I am feeling overwhelmed with emotions.  Knowing that the one sister came to our home makes me wonder if she will do it again.  What do I say to her if she shows up unannounced?  Am I just reading too much into all this?

Regarding a possible surprise visit to your home, you can choose to NOT answer the door.  Hopefully, you husband informs his sisters that if they just show up at your doorstep, one result can be that no one is "available" to answer the door.  It's actually rude to just show up at someone's home, but pwBPD might not be concerned about being rude.  I listened to a talk radio program last year that had a segment discussing how people handled it when people showed up unexpectedly at their home.  I was surprised at how many people won't answer their front door, when they aren't expecting visitors. 
  
In preparation for the upcoming gatherings, study the links in replies to your earlier post on Medium Chill, JADE and BIFF.  Plan to NOT take any bait for drama and conflict.