Dumped Again... This time on my Birthday via text after a beautiful Cruise

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

She did it again... .

Today we would have been together 17 months... .Living about 100 miles apart and she comes up to visit usually 2 days a week. When we are together things are amazing... .Like a honeymoon. When she is not here, communication sucks, I have to do all the reaching out. Emotionally unavailable   until its time to see me again and then "she has missed me, loves me, adores me, is present... .all of that

But last year we broke up and got back together 3 times. I always felt like it was my fault... .
In March after 4 days of silence I learned that "she gets depressed sometimes" "Have you heard of manic depression"? Non medicated Bipolar I thought all along... .But from reading all these posts it sounds more like BPD. In May last year, my birthday month... .dumped me again for 18 days and didn't even reach out to say Happy Birthday... .Again my fault... .Then July for 34 days... .Blocked instantly on Facebook, ignored, my fault... .Again... Ofcourse I wrote emails, begged and pleaded... .and eventually she came back... .

We sustained the relationship for 10 months without breaking up. I accepted her need for space... .she says she is an introvert and is a customer service agent so I do not want to "bug her" when she gets home.
Things progressed, she got a better job, moved up in the company is doing well and we booked a cruise for our birthdays this April 28 to May 6th.
Everything was arranged beautifully (she works for the cruise company) she communicated daily... was excited we shopped for luggage It was perfect in my eyes... .at this point I have not met any of her friends... .she has met almost all of mine. She is not speaking to her mother (the alcoholic drug addict who raised her) But I friended her sister after she approved that I could and When I spoke to her sister for the first time learned that my GF was in prison 20 years ago.
I brought it to her attention and she said "oh I was working for a company and they were involved in a telemarketing scheme and I had no idea... .and I took a plea bargain and had to spend 18 months in a high security prison" I believed her and let it go... .

The trip was amazing. We had the time of our lives. We zip lined in St Maarten for her birthday, we made love every day. we laughed. we really had a nice time. No fighting, great communication. I have been on many cruises before and on the islands we visited we met my cousins and dear friends so it was really lovely. We had a great time for once she posted my photo on Facebook... .It was like we were a real couple. 309 pictures of gloriousness... .But the GF got an alcohol package and drank so much alcohol without ever getting drunk. I know she lives with two alcoholics and Oh the recycling bin is full and they drink from the second they wake up... .Ale\ways complaining about her roommates.
The last night I said "honey 9 mojitos, really? I was told I was a nag, was asked if I was the alcohol police... We had an argument... .It blew over. we came home and she went home in the AM. I heard from her the last time on May 6th that she arrived safely and communication ended. My birthday was May 12th. Silence. no good morning no goodnight nada! I got a Happy Birthday via text and a something is coming in the mail for you. I asked what was wrong and she said Its over. I am a nag and she is done. Shocking! What is weird is she didn't block me. I spoke to her sister who told me  and found out it was Mail fraud and she knew very well what she was doing... .She still owes restitution and she will not be able to get a passport until its paid off. (we started our cruise from Puerto Rico and you can use your birth cert) I asked her for about a year to get a passport since I am an international person and I travel abroad a lot and I would love to take her... .she has refused to get one. Her sister told me to run... everything is a lie as I found out. She now knows that I know everything that she lied about and I know she harbors a lot of other secrets... .I tried to meet her to go kayaking and she came out and I told her I knew everything. she took off running and  I have not spoken to her for almost 6 days. I am still not blocked ... Her social media presence is zero. she still has all the photos of me on her page. The pictures she took of the cruise are still there. no Pinterest and no Instagram likes whatsoever. Yes I am watching what she is doing. Thats how I gauge her... .I am lost without her because I believed everything and realize I was in love with a fake. I am shocked but I also realize she  has Borderline personality and I cannot go back. I am hurt and need help. It hurts less in comparison to last years break ups because I do not feel that it was my fault. I secretly want her to want to come back... I do not think it will happen this time. She sounded so convincing that it was over. I am running and training for a half marathon. I run a very lucrative business. But I am very lonely and alone. All my friends have their own lives. I need help from this group to keep me from going back even if she tries to engage. Thank you

[Apex]

She did it again... .

Today we would have been together 17 months... .Living about 100 miles apart and she comes up to visit usually 2 days a week. When we are together things are amazing... .Like a honeymoon. When she is not here, communication sucks, I have to do all the reaching out. Emotionally unavailable   until its time to see me again and then "she has missed me, loves me, adores me, is present... .all of that

But last year we broke up and got back together 3 times. I always felt like it was my fault... .
In March after 4 days of silence I learned that "she gets depressed sometimes" "Have you heard of manic depression"? Non medicated Bipolar I thought all along... .But from reading all these posts it sounds more like BPD. In May last year, my birthday month... .dumped me again for 18 days and didn't even reach out to say Happy Birthday... .Again my fault... .Then July for 34 days... .Blocked instantly on Facebook, ignored, my fault... .Again... Ofcourse I wrote emails, begged and pleaded... .and eventually she came back... .

We sustained the relationship for 10 months without breaking up. I accepted her need for space... .she says she is an introvert and is a customer service agent so I do not want to "bug her" when she gets home.
Things progressed, she got a better job, moved up in the company is doing well and we booked a cruise for our birthdays this April 28 to May 6th.
Everything was arranged beautifully (she works for the cruise company) she communicated daily... was excited we shopped for luggage It was perfect in my eyes... .at this point I have not met any of her friends... .she has met almost all of mine. She is not speaking to her mother (the alcoholic drug addict who raised her) But I friended her sister after she approved that I could and When I spoke to her sister for the first time learned that my GF was in prison 20 years ago.
I brought it to her attention and she said "oh I was working for a company and they were involved in a telemarketing scheme and I had no idea... .and I took a plea bargain and had to spend 18 months in a high security prison" I believed her and let it go... .

The trip was amazing. We had the time of our lives. We zip lined in St Maarten for her birthday, we made love every day. we laughed. we really had a nice time. No fighting, great communication. I have been on many cruises before and on the islands we visited we met my cousins and dear friends so it was really lovely. We had a great time for once she posted my photo on Facebook... .It was like we were a real couple. 309 pictures of gloriousness... .But the GF got an alcohol package and drank so much alcohol without ever getting drunk. I know she lives with two alcoholics and Oh the recycling bin is full and they drink from the second they wake up... .Ale\ways complaining about her roommates.
The last night I said "honey 9 mojitos, really? I was told I was a nag, was asked if I was the alcohol police... We had an argument... .It blew over. we came home and she went home in the AM. I heard from her the last time on May 6th that she arrived safely and communication ended. My birthday was May 12th. Silence. no good morning no goodnight nada! I got a Happy Birthday via text and a something is coming in the mail for you. I asked what was wrong and she said Its over. I am a nag and she is done. Shocking! What is weird is she didn't block me. I spoke to her sister who told me  and found out it was Mail fraud and she knew very well what she was doing... .She still owes restitution and she will not be able to get a passport until its paid off. (we started our cruise from Puerto Rico and you can use your birth cert) I asked her for about a year to get a passport since I am an international person and I travel abroad a lot and I would love to take her... .she has refused to get one. Her sister told me to run... everything is a lie as I found out. She now knows that I know everything that she lied about and I know she harbors a lot of other secrets... .I tried to meet her to go kayaking and she came out and I told her I knew everything. she took off running and  I have not spoken to her for almost 6 days. I am still not blocked ... Her social media presence is zero. she still has all the photos of me on her page. The pictures she took of the cruise are still there. no Pinterest and no Instagram likes whatsoever. Yes I am watching what she is doing. Thats how I gauge her... .I am lost without her because I believed everything and realize I was in love with a fake. I am shocked but I also realize she  has Borderline personality and I cannot go back. I am hurt and need help. It hurts less in comparison to last years break ups because I do not feel that it was my fault. I secretly want her to want to come back... I do not think it will happen this time. She sounded so convincing that it was over. I am running and training for a half marathon. I run a very lucrative business. But I am very lonely and alone. All my friends have their own lives. I need help from this group to keep me from going back even if she tries to engage. Thank you

[Idsrvt2]

I'm so sorry.  I'm fairly new here , but what you describe sounds like my x minus the prison stuff.

Be cautious that she doesn't get a protective order on you now that u know everything... .don't put anything in writing that she could perceive as a threat,

Just my opinion based on what my x did.

I too like you are lonely and miss my x... .he really understood some parts of me... .
Be thankful your x sister told u the truth...   my x told me his sister thought I would hurt him... .I never met this sister and only briefly talked to his mom on Facebook ... she just said her son is nothing like his father... .yet my x would fear he would hurt me like his father did his mom... .it was a daily fear... . 

Keep posting on here and really think why u want to be with someone that lied about prison.   I can relate as my x got a false protective order and I still want to be with him

[Mavrik]

Hi Apex

You sound like a really nice person and it always happens to the nice guys.

Sadly looks like she was living a lie and you fell for someone that doesn't exist. That's very sad as you invested all your time and energy on a person who isn't really the person you fell in love with.

A lot of people trawl through social media after this kind of a break up. If you don't want her back and know it was all a lie, why go through her fake book as you do, can I ask what you are hoping to find on there?

[GlennT]

Sounds like the cruise really was the apex of it all Apex. Yours is a high functioning BPD sociopath. You don't want to know what she did when you weren't with her. You did the right thing, now, just stay this way and don't go back. I also want to say to everyone, that when they say they were in prison, do not blow it off, or believe what they tell you. My ex said she was in federal prison for defending herself from abuse. Not true. She murdered someone. I have also been spying, which is setting me back big time. She is still on dating sites listed as single, but in reality, is engaged, with a secret lover. Her hunger for new victims is insatiable.

[Apex]

 I am sick over all of this today marks one week of no communication I've been working out like a crazy woman no idea what's happening I don't want her back but at the same time I'm curious.  The woman she made herself out to be is kind loving beautiful together talkative sexy very attentive very sexual the best thing that has ever happened to me. And now I'm lost even though I've learned all these terrible truths  I feel like I cannot live without her this is a sick sick situation and I know I need help this has all to do with me she fooled me now I know a few extremely ugly secrets about her and she's running away because I know too much because I will use it against her... .do she says.  How can I make this pass how do I fall out of love with her how do I turn my back and say I never want to kiss you again I never want to smell you again I never want to cook with you again I never want to make love with you again it makes me crazy thinking that she's gone.  I'm a busy woman I have a life I'm training for a half marathon but all my friends are with partners they don't have time for me I am always by myself I like it that way but I'm going crazy I run my workouts I'm in good shape I eat healthy what else can I do to get away from all of this? It's only been a week!  Of course she blames me I nag and this is not good for her I know she drinks every night we live two hours apart so I'm not 100% sure exactly what she's doing but the way she drink on the cruise I know she does it when she gets home from work I know nothing about her she could be with another guy she is bisexual I guess she could be with somebody else already she says she's not but I cannot believe anything that she says. I need to go to the gym right now but I'm paralyzed laying on my back procrastinating because I'm feeling sorry for myself I'm having a bad day thank you for listening