A satirical approach to cope with gloom (and acquire new tools)

[Jami]

There is shock and gloom, a broken heart and a shattered spirit. And then there is satire, what a relief! I accidentally stumbled upon this book, it made my day. I'm not sure whether it's ok to post this here, please say if it isn't. My thought is, if it made me laugh out loud (in a very healthy way) and had such a positive impact, it could have a similar effect on you guys. Hence the wish to share.

It's a book by a person who is, himself, coming from a long tradition of codependence. He's had the bright idea of writing a satirical "Handbook for the Narcissistic Abuser" in which he furnishes a transparent, step-by-step guide to Narcs & Co on how to successfully charm, subdue, enslave and discard their codependent victims.

It's concise, witty and delightfully smart. Besides the positive effects of laughter, it definitely has a sound educational purpose for Non's: unveil the strategies and offer tools to recognise and protect against future abuses.

It's called "The Codependent User's Manual", here's a short description:

This is not a satire but it takes a satirical approach to shedding light upon a very dark subject: narcissistic abuse.

It is intended to demonstrate to those struggling with codependency just how narcissists actually view them. By reading their “play book”, codependents should be able to recognize covert abuse and avoid its pernicious effects.

Has anyone else read it? How did you experience it?

[Harley Quinn]

Hi Jami,

Thanks for sharing this.  It sounds like a good book, so I've ordered a copy.  I'm interested to find what I can learn within the text.  It's good of you to mention it on here so that others might benefit and I'm glad that you found it helpful to read things with a different and humorous slant... .something I'm open to as well.  They do say laughter is the best medicine.  Hope you are doing well at the moment?

Love and light x

[Jami]

Hi Harley,

i listened to it again and still found it very helpful, amusing and harsh. The harshness could be perceived as a little over the top at times, because certain passages sound quite radical and "cold blooded". While i think that only people who have had intimate experiences with emotional manipulators can really grasp the sense in it - specially in the depiction of the dynamics - i am critical toward the presumption that "they" act consciously and willingly.
In my experience, the emotional manipulator isn't necessarily aware of his/her need to dominate and control the victim, and things are often far more complex than how they are depicted in this book. But hey, it's a satirical approach which definitely serves its purpose. Laughter, as you say, is the best medicine.

I'm glad you ordered it and very curious to hear your feedback

To answer your question, it's been 4 or 5 days since i'm pretty stable on my upward path. Feels good to be out of the pit, and the fact that the "up phase" has been steady for a while makes me hope that the worst is behind me. You surely deserve a big thank you for that  . How about you?

Hug,

Jami

[Harley Quinn]

Hi Jami,

It's great to hear you're noticing positives for yourself.  That's definitely a step in the right direction.  And no need to thank anyone but yourself because it all comes from you.  We all must decide when we are ready to allow ourselves to come first and move forwards.  It sounds like you're doing great! 

I'm doing OK thanks, all considered.  I have a court case on Monday as a result of my r/s which has me feeling somewhat on edge yet I'm coping better than I could have expected to even 2 months back.  It has been 6 months since my ex left and in some ways it feels like a lifetime ago.  I still have my moments of course, when I allow myself to let the sad/nostalgic feelings wash over me as they arise, then they go away again.  Mostly I feel indifferent about him now and accepting of what happened, even the really awful destructive parts, although the PTSD symptoms haven't completely let go, so it seems the subconscious isn't entirely in agreement with that as yet.  Every day is a new beginning with which to do as we choose though, and I am grateful to be here, to have my son in my life and good support around me.  I could have been far worse off than that. 

The book arrived today so I'll let you know my thoughts when I've read it.  Glad to see it isn't an encyclopedia! 

Love and light x