Marriage Counceling ugliness

[Hmcbart]

Had a very long MC session last night.  I was unhappy that my wife would get dressed up to go to a Mary K meeting Monday night but never tries to go out if her way for me. I brought it up as gently as I could because this isn't the first time I have asked this if her.  When the T asked her about it she went into this very long and tearing speech about how uncomfortable she is getting dressed up and how if I could have seen the anxiety in her face I would understand.  I replied, very simply, "that's what I'm talking about. You will do something that makes you uncomfortable and anxious for someone else but you won't do it for me".  About 30 minutes after she was very heated and upset that I would ask her to do something that makes her uncomfortable the T was able to speak.  Our T told her that what she was going to say may come across mean but she didn't know any other way to put it.  Out T told her "you need to get over yourself and do something for your husband!"  My wife went back into her anger and kept on talking about how she just can't due to her anxiety.  After about 10 minutes the T finally repeated it and told her to get over herself and do it for me.  The T kept saying "it's not about you and what makes you uncomfortable, if you are too uncomfortable to do this for your husband then she should be too uncomfortable to do it for people who aren't your husband!"

I could tell by my wife's tone and eyes that she was very mad.  She was just shaking her head yes when the T asked if she would do this for me.  I spoke up at that point to let them know that I no longer wanted her to do this. I explained that I can tell by her body language and tone that if she were to do it she would go out if her way to make sure I knew how much she despised it.  Anything she would do that I wanted was going to get twisted and used to make me miserable. My wife was still shaking her head yes as I spoke so I took that as her agreeing with what I said. 

It's taken 7 months for the T to see what's really happening in our relationship and how I'm not the devil I was first made out to be.  My only fear now is that my wife will paint the T black and decide to stop going. 

How can I set a boundary and enforce it that we need to continue MC? 

I don't want to stop now.  If we ended up going to a different MC then I would have to start the whole process over.  It's just too tiring to keep fighting for what I need from my wife.  Having to start the process over and prove I'm not the devil to another T is just more than I am willing to do. 

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[Hmcbart]

After having a discussion with her about last night.  She now says it was just a miscommunication.  She says that she was getting heated over something else that she thought I was talking about.  I must have been in a different MC session than she was because I really don't remember things the way she is now claiming they went. 

And she shifted the blame over getting heated saying we were all heated and she didn't feel our T should have been heated also.  I'm guessing when she raised her voice to get her point across to my wife who was very upset and woukdnt let anyone else talk. 

Just wow.