When to Separate Myself Completely from Sibling with BPD

[Dee Lee]

Hi there, I would love some advice. My brother has BPD and has had a strained relationship with my family for years. He is not interested or willing to seek treatment and all of my family members have stopped speaking with him after years of being verbally, emotionally and sometimes physically abused. I don't blame them. I am the only one still talking to him but I still try and keep my distance. Honestly I feel anxious every time I'm around him and I feel like I'm walking on eggshells. I try and validate his feelings and I try to avoid conflict because I'm worried about how he will react and what he will do. I don't want him to hurt himself. I have a baby and he's very good with her but I never leave them alone. I don't feel 100% safe when I'm around him even though he's been nice to me for the past year and a half. I feel trapped because I know that he has no one right now.

[Turkish]

It's a good idea not to leave him alone with your baby. 

Though you've felt safe for over a year,  what is the history between the two of you about which you don't feel entirely comfortable?

[Dee Lee]

Thank you for your response Turkish! His history of violence makes me feel uncomfortable. I have been punched, kicked, bitten and had things thrown at me in the past and I can't seem to move past it. Within the last year he has tried to manipulate my Mom into sending him money and has left very dark voicemails to my other brother. His rude comments when we're out in public are also embarrassing but I feel like I can't say anything or he will get angry and it would make matters worse. Since my baby was born a year ago he's been nothing but kind to me, and tells me he loves me and the baby but I know that if I say the wrong thing he could flip.