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How to communicate after a contentious divorce... Following a contentious divorce and custody battle, there are often high emotion and tensions between the parents. Research shows that constant and chronic conflict between the parents negatively impacts the children. The children sense their parents anxiety in their voice, their body language and their parents behavior. Here are some suggestions from Dean Stacer on how to avoid conflict.
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Author Topic: Father of my child has BPD traits  (Read 404 times)
DaisyDoo72
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1


« on: September 01, 2017, 04:38:41 PM »

Hi there, I'm new here and glad to find somewhere I can share my experiences and frustrations and also to read other people's stories. It can be a lonely situation to be in. My ex (father of my 1 year old daughter) exhibits all the traits of BPD. I was with him for 4 years and had a baby girl with him 1 year ago. I left him almost 4 months ago and the abuse from him still occurs. He's managed to get referred to a psychiatrist who I should going to assess him and diagnose him very soon. I am 99% convinced he has BPD. I will be relieved when he gets answers as it will confirm what I have been dealing with all this time. Despite the misery he has caused me, I hope he gets answers and the help he needs so his life stops falling apart as a result of his bad decisions and behaviour. I would love our daughter to have a good relationship with him in the future as he adores her. He has 4 other children from past relationships and only 1 of them wants anything to do with him. The others have learnt how he's treated their mothers... .
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livednlearned
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Family other
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 12866



« Reply #1 on: September 05, 2017, 09:44:40 AM »

Hi DaisyDoo72,

Welcome and hello  Smiling (click to insert in post)

You have your hands full with a baby/toddler on top of the strife that goes with a BPD ex.

I can see why you are concerned about the relationship between your daughter and her dad, and it says a lot about you that you want them to bond and have a good relationship.

Sometimes, the best we can do is to help our kids grow up to be emotionally resilient, and to learn how to have good boundaries with a parent who has none, or who has affect instability and confusing behaviors.

Your daughter is so lucky that you are reaching out for support now, while she's still young, especially in her tender years. It does seem like we have to parent in a non-intuitive way when there is a BPD parent in the picture.

How often does your ex see his daughter? Do you have a custody agreement?

Glad you're here  Smiling (click to insert in post) These are tough relationships to go alone.

LnL
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