... "and just like that", ... she split me "white" again (?).

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Fifteen daze downrange, ."and just like that", .she split me "white" again(?).
What do I do, .pull out "checklists",
*BE CAREFUL!
*Don't be too comfortable around her, BEWARE the "comfort zone".
*Don't give into any attempts to validate her dysregulations of me in order to "keep the peace".
*Boundaries Boundaries Boundaries !
*UNDERSTAND this is NOT her normal default behavior, it WILL go south again sooner or later (cycle).
*Be firm (composure), talk very little, give short answers, be AWARE of her mood as best I can.
*Don't allow any misrepresentation of facts (history), no "gas lighting", don't get drawn into circular argument.
*Keep escape plan handy, NO FIGHTING... .NOTHING PHYSICAL.
*Edit and proof every word in your mind before you respond to her.
*Keep the decks cleared of any possible "triggers", always be prepared to diffuse, dis-arm, or power-down very quickly if I feel her starting to target me (or my autistic Son).
*Never ever EVER show any anger, or disappointment towards her, even if she tries to start something, keep the gauge in the white as much as I can... .but be FIRM in my composure.
*Do not try to prove any points with her in conversation (looming argument), even in casual conversation, be passive, be polite, BUT have a plan to quickly escape, ->pass through->, .be out of sight in a moment if necessary.
*If caught short, cornered, trapped in an increasingly volatile conversations (fight) do not escalate, go gray rock, stone faced, DO NOT under any circumstances try and stand up to her, no FIGHTING, or otherwise try to prove your point, opinion, or try to get her to agree, see things your way, ain't NEVER happening... .but be FIRM (composure) and use your escape plan, and leave immediately… LEAVE !
  

[Red5]

Fifteen daze downrange, ."and just like that", .she split me "white" again(?).
What do I do, .pull out "checklists",
*BE CAREFUL!
*Don't be too comfortable around her, BEWARE the "comfort zone".
*Don't give into any attempts to validate her dysregulations of me in order to "keep the peace".
*Boundaries Boundaries Boundaries !
*UNDERSTAND this is NOT her normal default behavior, it WILL go south again sooner or later (cycle).
*Be firm (composure), talk very little, give short answers, be AWARE of her mood as best I can.
*Don't allow any misrepresentation of facts (history), no "gas lighting", don't get drawn into circular argument.
*Keep escape plan handy, NO FIGHTING... .NOTHING PHYSICAL.
*Edit and proof every word in your mind before you respond to her.
*Keep the decks cleared of any possible "triggers", always be prepared to diffuse, dis-arm, or power-down very quickly if I feel her starting to target me (or my autistic Son).
*Never ever EVER show any anger, or disappointment towards her, even if she tries to start something, keep the gauge in the white as much as I can... .but be FIRM in my composure.
*Do not try to prove any points with her in conversation (looming argument), even in casual conversation, be passive, be polite, BUT have a plan to quickly escape, ->pass through->, .be out of sight in a moment if necessary.
*If caught short, cornered, trapped in an increasingly volatile conversations (fight) do not escalate, go gray rock, stone faced, DO NOT under any circumstances try and stand up to her, no FIGHTING, or otherwise try to prove your point, opinion, or try to get her to agree, see things your way, ain't NEVER happening... .but be FIRM (composure) and use your escape plan, and leave immediately… LEAVE !
  

[ozmatoz]

Thanks Red5, I should print this out and leave it in my car to read every time I get home from work.  I think I'm heading into the upside of a cycle this weekend and the reality is I just want out!

Stay strong and have a great weekend!
-Oz