How does the BPD feel after you genuinely moved on and accomplished your goals.

[Depression = 72% of members]

Hello,
Just out of curiosity how does the BPD feel when they find out you moved on with someone new, or got a job promotion, bought a house, went back to school, etc.  When I say genuinely moved on I mean not a hook up or a rebound relationship.

[Newyoungfather]

Hello,
Just out of curiosity how does the BPD feel when they find out you moved on with someone new, or got a job promotion, bought a house, went back to school, etc.  When I say genuinely moved on I mean not a hook up or a rebound relationship.

[Turkish]

In recently refinanced my home into a 15 year loan at 3%. I'm paying a little extra to pay it off in about 12 years. Where I live,  the value is significant. My ex responded, oh that's good.  Your house is like your bank!" She fancies herself a financial advisor due to the training she's had as part of a multi-level marketing financial firm. I shut that conversation down quickly. As one of my friends observed in the beginning of our r/s, "she's not as smart as she thinks she is." I shouldn't have even volunteered that info. 

I'm still trying to figure out how to set up a trust for the kids so she can't get her mitts into the equity (a few hundred thousand at this point,  over which she's salivating). She also recently talked to me about my romantic prospects. Boundaries are key here... .never volunteer information other than what is necessary regarding the kids. 

[Newyoungfather]

So would you say she's a information junkie, like she needs to know everything.  I only try to keep my emails and texts short and sweet and to the point.

[SES]

My ex and I work in the same large organisation. I got a rather large promotion.  I didn't tell her. Neither did many people at work. Her boss would have known about my promotion, but didn't tell her.  When she did find out about a month later she sent me a text congratulating me... .then promptly made false allegations about me to CPS, and escalated her behaviour and threats towards me.

My kids and I recently had a day out with a female friend and her son. Within 2 days my ex was making threats, demanding to have the kids more etc...  This is three years after she left me for her affair partner, and then had a child together this year.  

I have never told my kids or her about dating. I realise the repercussions would be large.  

I closed all personal social media.

I don't tell her anything except the absolute necessary regarding kids.

[40days_in_desert]

The first woman that I dated about a year after separation, ex demanded to know her full name, to view her FB account, etc. She claimed it was because she needed to know all about her for our kid's sake. I simply replied that it wasn't my place to give that information out, especially since this woman had not yet met our children. Of course there is a double standard. She never offered the same information for me on my replacement that she had lined up before she left and I never asked. Probably because she didn't want me to find out what I ended up finding out... .that he had two felony drug convictions. She also told me that she was bitter because I had rented a home (which was four bedroom but small and in a mediocre neighborhood), bought an older SUV (27 years old but needed something big enough to fit all 5 children when they are with me), and had lost weight and toned up a lot. The point is, in my opinion, the BPD in your life most likely never be happy for you when you accomplish something positive and most likely assign negative motives towards those positive accomplishments. For example, my exBPD wife felt that I did those things to make her feel like I didn't need her and that I easily moved on without her. While it is true that I don't need her, it wasn't easy to move on without her at first but none of those positive steps were to "show" her anything. It was for me and my children. She chose not to be a part of it

[StayStrongNow]

Quite frankly when I do fully pick my self up and truly have all the gears meshing on a happy new life, I wont care what the xBPDw thinks, cares, says, does, texts and or sends smoke signals about me.

Even though I need LC because I have sole decisions making authority (sole custody) of my D11, D9 and S7, I don't need to care about her. She has a new replacement, number 3 of 3 in 18 months. He is really a nice guy, I like him. I see she got an easier mark for the inevitable BPD cycle. He has slightly relieved me of that pressure only an insane BPD could invoke on a NON.

My light at the end of the tunnel came when I learned as much as I wanted to about the Cluster B BPD she is and moved on. I had to know what got me to be with her and kept me with her for far too long. Now I am learning about me and avoiding that people pleasing and being the savior tendencies I had and moving on. The x is now irrelevant to me but still a pest as she lashes out to my avoiding contact with her and giving her little if any of my attention.

She is out of my heart, that is for sure.

[rarsweet]

I am not sure if my ex knows anything about my life now. Even though he is in this small town we haven't spoken in 18 months. He is jobless, couch surfing, his car is sitting covered in pollen at  a friend's house uninspected and unregistered. I graduated from college 6 months early and started another degree, have 3 jobs and am on the Board for a nonprofit, have been in the newspaper half a dozen times for recovery coaching, teaching DV prevention, parenting advice, public speaking, etc. I am researching online curriculums right now as my just turned 3 year old was assessed at a kindergarten level last year right before Christmas. She is as happy and outgoing as a child can be. Oh and we managed to take 3 vacations last year and 3 this year and am planning a 4th in October. I have not dated since our split at all and don't plan to. He is, I presume, looking over his shoulder so he doesn't get busted for never paying child support, over 9k behind right now. Some days I imagine that I would love to rub our life in his face if I got the chance. And then I realize that would be spending energy on him.