Repeated withdrawing

[kelkay]

This is the 4th time I've been through this situation but I'm so confused and upset.
Been in relationship for over 2 years, everything is typical, all is great and then the light switch is flicked and he is distant, not seeing me, seems depressed, is very sensitive to what anyone says to him. All I got out of him when I asked if things were OK, was " No. And it's too much to talk about I'm going to bed. "
We usually talk everyday, since this occurred there has been one day we've not spoken. I'm the one initiating contact. I don't know if I should let him have his time or that will make him feel rejected. He did not ask to see me last week and we see each other every week when I'm off work. I've been through these scenarios with him 4 times but this is killing me. Any advice on how to handle this delicate situation? I'm not wanting to put pressure on him but I also don't want him thinking I'm rejecting or ignoring me. Which was the case the last time this happened. 

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PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Tattered Heart]

BPD comes with a lot of push/pull behavior. When things get too intense, the pwBPD pulls away from the relationship. Everything I've ever seen on this gives the same advice:

Let them have their space, but also let them know you care and are available when they want to talk. When they are ready to reach out, they will, but pushing them to talk will cause them to pull away even more.