My daughter

[Pastel1]

I am in therapy after 20 years of being accused of abuse by my undiagnosed BPD adult dy... I was a loving and devoted mother to her but she sees me as toxic and abusive... I am so broken and feeling so very down

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Huat]

Hello Pastel1... .and welcome!

The important words in your post are "I am in therapy."  This is certainly not something to be ashamed of.  You are making a positive move towards positive changes.  Sometimes dealing with what life hands us is more than we alone can handle.   When help is needed, wise the person who looks for it.

It is indeed hurtful to be accused of something you feel/know you did not do and it is especially hurtful when those accusations come from the child you love. 

If writing down your feelings helps to give you some relief, this is certainly the place to do it.  Know that others are reading and validating those feelings.

From one Mom to another... .a (hug).