Hi, I'm new here

[Nameless Knitter]

Hi,

This is the first support group I've ever been a part of. I have been going to counseling for about six months and in the process of self discovery, my counselor and I have realized that my Mom has some serious mental health issues. I am pretty certain she has borderline personality disorder and in an effort to learn more about the disorder and the effects it has on the person and that person's family (me and my Dad and sisters) I bought a couple of books. The one I'm in the middle of right now is called "Understanding the borderline Mother," this book reads like a biography of my life and a list of explanations for an entire childhood's worth of interactions with my Mom.

At first, this realization was affirming and empowering, but now I'm struggling to figure out what to do with the information and how to use it to further my own process of self discovery and healing. I'm still in a stage where I'm angry at my Mom for all the abuse I suffered at her hands (abuse is abuse, no matter if there is a mental illness present) and I'm struggling to find people other than my counselor to talk with about this.

So, that's why I'm here. I am looking for a community who understands what I'm going through that can remind me that I'm not alone in dealing with things on this journey.

Thanks

[Kwamina]

Hi Nameless Knitter

You most definitely are not alone, many of our members (me included) are on the same journey you are on. It's tough indeed. Educating yourself about the disorder can help though. I have also read that book you are currently reading "Understanding the Borderline Mother". It's a tough read but I found it very validating.

As you try to process all this information and heal, I encourage you to take a look at the Survivor's Guide for adults who suffered childhood abuse which you can find in the right-hand side margin of this board. Feeling anger is a natural part of the healing process and I agree with you that abuse is abuse no matter if the person is mentally ill or not. In the long-run knowing about BPD might make it easier to come to a place of acceptance of reality, yet for the child you were the consequences of growing up this way are still very much the same. We cannot change our pat, but we can control how we deal with our past in the present and how we transition from this into a brighter tomorrow.

In what ways did your mother abuse you?

What do you consider your mother's most difficult or challenging behaviors?

Take care and welcome to our online community

The Board Parrot