I miss the friend I had before she was my girlfriend

[WhimsicalLogic]

I've had some really good days trying to focus on me and not worry about her, but the past few days have been tough.

You can read my story here if you're interested.

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=314641.msg12898965#msg12898965

It's been about a month without real contact (expect for one message she sent about a singer we both like) and I miss the friend I once had. I saw something that would make her laugh today, so I decided to send it. Her response was delayed (not normal for her) and wasn't exactly cold, but wasn't jovial either. Granted, I have no idea what's really going on in her life - maybe she's having a bad day and wasn't in the mood, but I feel like an ass. It may have been better to just stay silent.

I don't know if we could ever make it as a couple again (part of me thinks there is a chance), but I just hate the idea of her not being in my life at all. I guess I need to accept the fact that I don't fill a need right now. It sucks and  I'm not processing that well at all.

[vanx]

Your post made me sad, but it's also validating because I miss my friend too. The romance was not worth it to lose a connection.
There's nothing to say you can't be friends again some day. Don't feel like an ass. We've all been there. But do think about your needs and whether she is meeting them right now. Next time you want to reach out, how would it feel to fet a lukewarm reply? You just thought of her and wanted to connect thiygh. That's understandable.

[WhimsicalLogic]

I didn't mean to make you sad! I'm ok, it's just tough. I can give her space for now and see what happens. I'm not going to put my life on hold, but we had such a great connection, so I hope we can regain at least some of that down the road. If we don't, I'll be disappointed, but I'll heal. For now, I'll just practice my patience.

[vanx]

No problem! It truly is tough. I think there is little more painful than losing someone you care about.  Just be sure to be very kind to yourself. It is a cliche saying, but "if it's meant to be it will be". Either way, your life will go on and you will make other connections. Be well!