Help Sister With Strong BPD Traits

[wantyousafe]

My sister is undiagnosed BPD: but this is the kindest interpretation I can offer.
I've been on here before and I last decided that no communication was the only way, but I'm so soft, I take everything to be my fault first;yes, screwed up family;
Sister 1; loves mother unconditionally, dad ?
Sister 2: schizophrenic:man in clock watches over her
Sister 3: undiagnosed BPD: everything is black and white, last partner taken to court for cruelty
Sister 4: me, mom and dad very protective,took a long time to grow up and marry husband also very "young".
My nearest sister,who I hero-worshipped as a child , is, I believe and I think my mom suspected, BPD.
I'm not to go through history, but she loathes a man that went to court for abusing her and and
admitted it, but I know that he was very lonely,possibly abused as a child and she treated him like dirt.
She abuses family for what they haven't done for her, but she rarely does anything for anyone else:it comes as a shock if she does.
We all want to love her but it's such an effort.
Anyway, I just blew it after all the trauma of Mr.court case, I'd given her money and offered help to get her away but zilch.
A year later, I worry about it all the time, and she has contacted another sister saying what would mom think (mom didn't contact her sister for years and I'm 56].
I try to contact my sister but I'm so angry and she is so undeniable:I'm scared if I pierce her delusions, she'll do something stupid... .and we all know what I mean by that.
What do I do:I've given way and lived a lie so long.

[wantyousafe]

Can't get anywhere with my husband, he had a seriously problemed mother and shuts down whenever emotions are involved.