Talk with my teen daughter

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I'm a 49 male who just broke up with my BPD GF, who I dated after the divorce. I had to tell her that the relationship is over as she was around the GF, as well as her daughter.

From that discussion flowed the discussion for the first time about the divorce in 2014. The first time we REALLY talked about some of those things. Like the day the ex wife and I told her and her sister of the divorce. My 16 year did cry tonight when we talked about that day.

She also disclosed that she actually found the divorce papers in a dresser drawer before we told her of the divorce back in 2014; that is something that makes me sad to hear.

Not sure I really have a point; just saying that happened tonight, as part of the break up with my BPD ex GF

[MarkDavid]

I'm a 49 male who just broke up with my BPD GF, who I dated after the divorce. I had to tell her that the relationship is over as she was around the GF, as well as her daughter.

From that discussion flowed the discussion for the first time about the divorce in 2014. The first time we REALLY talked about some of those things. Like the day the ex wife and I told her and her sister of the divorce. My 16 year did cry tonight when we talked about that day.

She also disclosed that she actually found the divorce papers in a dresser drawer before we told her of the divorce back in 2014; that is something that makes me sad to hear.

Not sure I really have a point; just saying that happened tonight, as part of the break up with my BPD ex GF

[Panda39]

Hi MarkDavid,

I'm sorry to hear about your breakup that is never easy. The good thing I hear is that you and your D16 were able to talk and get some things out in the open.  Keep that communication door open. 

How are you feeling?  What was your D16 relationship like with your ex and her daughter?  How do you think D16 is feeling about all of this?

I'm attaching a link with more information on raising resilient kids, in the hope that you find something useful to support your daughter through this transition.

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=182254.msg1331459#msg1331459

Don't forget to take care of yourself too 

Take Care,
Panda39

[MarkDavid]

Hi MarkDavid,

I'm sorry to hear about your breakup that is never easy. The good thing I hear is that you and your D16 were able to talk and get some things out in the open.  Keep that communication door open. 

How are you feeling?  What was your D16 relationship like with your ex and her daughter?  How do you think D16 is feeling about all of this?

I'm attaching a link with more information on raising resilient kids, in the hope that you find something useful to support your daughter through this transition.

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=182254.msg1331459#msg1331459

Don't forget to take care of yourself too 

Take Care,
Panda39

Thank you for your words and comments. I actually really think my 16 year old was way on board with this relationship; she basically said that in our conversation last night, saying she would have been good if I married GF, because she knows and likes GFs 14 year old; they are actually friends to a degree. So she was not devastated but perhaps a little disappointed by the news of the break up with GF, actually. She also was aware of earlier break ups with GF; and that GFs 14 year old apparently was having a problem accepting me/letting me into her life.

Ex GF and I work together and this morning she pulled one of her work emergency drama communications where we had to speak on the phone; after I blocked her from texting me on Sunday. I think it was a creation by GF, but it's one of those things where I wonder was that fake or was that legitimate; which I think is exactly how ex Gf wants to screw with my head. It's upsetting today that that happened.

[MarkDavid]

Thank you for your words and comments. I actually really think my 16 year old was way on board with this relationship; she basically said that in our conversation last night, saying she would have been good if I married GF, because she knows and likes GFs 14 year old; they are actually friends to a degree. So she was not devastated but perhaps a little disappointed by the news of the break up with GF, actually. She also was aware of earlier break ups with GF; and that GFs 14 year old apparently was having a problem accepting me/letting me into her life.

Ex GF and I work together and this morning she pulled one of her work emergency drama communications where we had to speak on the phone; after I blocked her from texting me on Sunday. I think it was a creation by GF, but it's one of those things where I wonder was that fake or was that legitimate; which I think is exactly how ex Gf wants to screw with my head. It's upsetting today that that happened.

The funny thing is, when I was reading your response to my post, I received a telephone call from the counseling office where I saw someone for a session back in July; it was just their 3 month check up call, I imagine.  I initially declined making a new appointment; after 2 hours passed and I thought about it, I think this warrants some professional help again, this entire situation - I made an appointment for myself tomorrow afternoon.  On the outside, I'm functioning through all of this; inside, I am struggling - this does not feel good.  I do feel this is crisis level.

[Panda39]

What a fortuitous call.  Good for you recognizing you need some support    Go for it!

Panda39