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Author Topic: Confused and Unsure of Next Step  (Read 508 times)
CookieMonster80

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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 26


« on: October 16, 2017, 03:48:51 PM »

I met my girlfriend three years ago at college and we hit it off from the beginning. Being a Psychology major, I was able to understand many aspects of her BPD, such as her impulsive spending, but recently her actions have left me confused. We broke up three weeks ago because she started spending all of her time with her new friends she met at work and she started to change. Someone who once hated drinking was now getting drunk to the point where she was sick and she was open with me about having a "crush" on one of the girls in her friend group. Her resistance to letting me meet her friends and hangout with them led to me breaking up with her. Post break up we still talked, although she seemed very distant, and she told me not to look for anyone else since she still loved me. Four days after the break up I learned she slept with the girl she had a crush on and that she had feelings for her, but did not love her. Someone who was once so nice and caring for me seemed so heartless and cold about this while scenario that left me heartbroken. After this whole situation we did not talk for a few days until I got a voicemail from her apologizing and saying how I am her soulmate. After talking she told me that she felt abandoned and alone after I broke up with her so she thought sleeping with this girl would fill the void. I know feeling abandoned is common in those with BPD, but since she expressed having feelings for this girl before we broke up, is she using this as an excuse? She also takes Zoloft to help her manage her BPD symptoms and prior to breaking up, she did mention that she did not feel like herself and planned on bringing this up the next time she saw her psychatrist. I know the last time she went they upped her dosage and she has stated that she feels like she is back to normal. We've been talking and she says she knows I am the one for her and she wants to make things work and start over. While I want to make things work since I love her and this is the first real roadblock we have encountered in our relationship, I am nervous this is going to happen again. I want to make sure that her feelings for me are real and that I am not her second choice since things did not work out with her one night stand. Any advice would be highly appreciated  Smiling (click to insert in post)
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 12809



« Reply #1 on: October 18, 2017, 07:04:26 PM »

Hi CookieMonster and Welcome

if the two of you were broken up at the time she slept with the girl, id be inclined to work past this issue. what i would ask, however, is whether trust has been an issue at any other point in the relationship. would it be going forward?
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