How to get uBPD spouse into behavioral (or dialectical) behavioral therapy.

[startrekuser]

Does anyone have any suggestions for how to get my uBPD wife into behavioral (or dialectical) behavioral therapy.?  I really don't want to stay married to her in her current state.  It's just SO DRAINING.  Thanks in advance.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[pearlsw]

Hi startekuser,

Welcome to the family? Is your partner aware of BPD and that he or she may have it? Is therapy a hard line for you on this or do you think that changing your own understanding and responses to the behavior could improve things enough to make life together possible?

I understand how draining it can be. Is self-care a part of your response currently?

Take care!

[startrekuser]

She is aware of BPD, but not that she could have it or that she is extremely emotionally sensitive. I'm making arrangements to see a counselor to discuss these issues.  I've been down this road before and had a very calm period, but she was triggered by recent events. 

[pearlsw]

Ah, I see. In my case my partner has off and on offered to go to counseling. I tend to be against it in my case because I don't think he can emotionally handle it and doesn't quite even get what this Western treatment approach is about. I worry it would make things worse, rather than better. It is hard to say. I have read stories on here that seem to indicate that it can help. Hmmm.

I dunno. I guess one way I'd try to get someone interested in it is to make it seem as positive and natural as possible. If someone feels there are being sent there because they are "messed up" or it is a requirement to be with you... .they may not agree. What do you think? I also wonder if it works better at a time when things are improving and someone is more open to change? On the other hand a crisis can make some desperate to try everything, ya know?

Hopefully others will chime and share their thoughts/experiences with us. This is important!