daughter with BPD

[baypo]

daughter threatening suicide-----has before to get her way but am concerned

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[1hope]

Baypo,
You're going through such a scary time!  We've been there too.  Do you have access to crisis services where you live?  Will the hospital admit her if she has active suicidal thoughts? 

[Yepanotherone]

Hi there Baypo , I’ve been there too with my DD 17 , many many times . The threat of suicide is just not something you can place to one side yet when it’s made so easily sometimes, it’s difficult to take seriously . I’ve lost count how many times my DD threatened suicide particular to her friends . I’ve lost count how often I’ve had police at my door in the middle of the night carrying out wellness checks as a result of my DD sending “ goodbye “ texts to her friends . I’ve had her friends on the phone, texting or messaging me  , worrying themselves sick about her after she’s sent them a suicide threat text to them, but then I hear my DD laughing downstairs watching tv , quite the thing ! Other times however , she’s followed through on her threats and taken an overdose so it’s just so hard to know how to deal with these situations and to figure out how genuine these threats are at the time .
Thankfully , my DD seems to have moved away from these suicide threat behaviors . I think she finally realized that she pushes friends away with this , and not only that ... .she’s ended up being taken to ER and put back into the hospital by police and after 7 hospitalizations, she’s actually sick fed up of going into hospital ! So her behaviors have gradually changed as the outcome became less favorable to her . She’s actually also learning to be content with her own company right now and that she doesn’t actually need to feel the constant attention of friends to be ok .

I would suggest though that regardless of whether you feel your DD’s threats are genuine or not , always make a call , even if to suicide crises to get some advice and support .

[tristesse]

HI Baypo
you are correct in your concern, never underestimate the threat, and never call her bluff. MY own BPDD is now 34 and has attempted 4 times, 3 times were overdose 4th time was a knife to the wrist. She may well be bluffing, she may have no real desire to die, she may be manipulating you and the situation, but take it all seriously, because she may also be suicidal.

In this situation you need to have a crisis number programmed in your phone so you can call at moments notice. Never hesitate to call emergency services either.

You do not have to give in to your daughter to keep from actually harming herself, just try and remain calm when dealing with her, give her the reassurance that you love her, even when she doesn't believe you.

God Bless you, and your DD.