My BPD partner

[Kitkat44]

My partner is currently admitted in hospital following a suicide attempt. I plan to stay by my partner and support her through, I don’t see why I shouldn’t as BPD isn’t her choice.
She’s due to be discharged later this week and I am delighted, yet apprehensive. She awaits DBT... .has anyone experienced this, did the treatment help? Any tips for staying strong whilst they get help?

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[pearlsw]

Hi Kitkat44,

I'm sorry to hear about what you and your partner are facing at the moment.  Focusing on your own strength at the moment sounds like a very important piece of the situation for sure. I have no personal experience with a partner attempting suicide so I can't add anything from a personal standpoint. If other members do have such experience perhaps they will join us here and share some insights if they feel able. I know I appreciate it so much when others write and share their experiences - I always learn so much from the members here.

What do you currently do to help yourself stay strong? I've just started doing a bit of yoga. In all honesty, I'm doing it most because I REALLY don't want to do it. I am experimenting with my "resistances" and trying on something new. I think I will ultimately benefit from the physical strength and flexibility this affords me... .just taking time to breath and hearing the gentle way the instructor speaks (it's just free online videos, but they're great!) is helping me set my mind at ease. I like that yoga is a practice, not an end - you don't "solve" anything, just improve. I consider a part of my "practice" in coping with my partner's BPD traits. Just a "practice".

What do you like to do to relax, recharge, energize yourself?

wishing you inner peace, pearlsw.

[Radcliff]

Hello Kitkat44, I am sorry to hear that your partner is in such a serious situation, but am glad you have found us, and quite glad to hear that she is headed for DBT.  My wife just started DBT, and I have to say that I am quite impressed. BPD is a challenging condition, but DBT is powerful and evidence-based.  It is the best possible thing your partner could be doing.  If you like you might want to do some reading online or in a book or two about DBT to understand what she'll be working on.  But for now, concentrate on receiving her from the hospital and doing what you need to do for both of you.  Convey a sense of optimism about DBT and support her as she gets enrolled.  It will be a lot of work for her, but it directly targets the problem behaviors, and was invented for just her situation.

Many, many of our loved ones never make it into treatment, so the other members of this board can benefit if you keep us posted on your partner's progress.

WW