Despite it all, it still hurts

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

I sent my ex uBPD, a final text. I have read, digested, followed all the advice.
It just bloody hurts.
She hasn't responded, and won't.
I love her, with everything I have.
It just sucks.

[Pencil sketch]

I sent my ex uBPD, a final text. I have read, digested, followed all the advice.
It just bloody hurts.
She hasn't responded, and won't.
I love her, with everything I have.
It just sucks.

[Harley Quinn]

That it does.    Do you feel any relief by sending the text?  Manage to say the words that you needed to get out of your system perhaps?  When you say final, what made it final?

Love and light x

[Pencil sketch]

I feel a little better. It was for the person I love, not the BPD.
I apologised for my outbursts, and wished her Well.
I doubt she has even read it.
We just go round and round in never ending circles, she has made it quite clear how she feels, despite the fact she keeps coming back, so I guess it's sending out a clear message, I can't play these games anymore, and if she doesn't want me in her life, to stay away.
They cant set boundaries, we have to set them.
It bloody hurts, mostly, because it was such a hard message to write, and she doesn't give a damn, it's a cruel illness, and many people suffer.

[JNChell]

Hi Pencil Sketch. You’re absolutely right. It just plain hurts. Period. Many of us feel like we gave all we had to our ex’s and we’re exhausted. There was no reciprocity. They only took and never gave back and we’re left feeling empty. Personally speaking, I’m beginning to see things a little more positively. Everything I’ve gone through in life has landed me on this site. Many of my questions have been answered and the best, reaffirming advice I have gotten has come from the people on this site.

It’s so hard to grasp how they can just shut their feelings off for us, isn’t it? Sometimes I question if those feelings were really even there. Did the two of you ever recycle? If so, how many times?

[stixx44]

Pencil Sketch,

I hope it’s really done for you.  I keep saying that for myself and so far am trying to hold firm.  But February, as I stated in a previous message, will be the true test of my strength.

I have not had any recycles.  We had our “fights” but never broke up like this.  That’s why I think she’s serious about it being over.  She had only two slip ups via text, and now All is quiet.

I sometimes wish I could feel nothing for her.  But I do feel.

I am praying for strength for you today. 

Stixx

[Pencil sketch]

Thanks styxx, we can never say never, and that's the hardest part, having a very bed day today, after doing so well for 8 weeks, but this is what they want.
I too Wish, I could feel nothing, I hate that she can behave like this, knowing, the affect it has, I just get the feeling, she doesn't want me to move on, more learning, more time.
Peace to you too xxx