smooth sailing so far

[bluek9]

I'm checking in this morning, have a question for anyone who wants to reply. I've been reading about different therapy models, has anyone here every tried the schemas or stepps? I daughter is in therapy 1 time a week, that seems to be all she can handle. It's like a catch 22, does she work on today or deal with the past abuse issues because they are what affect her today. She has had some serious abuse issues happen to her all of which just piled on the complications of her BPD. I am going to have the genetic testing done, her Dr. agreed it will help a lot.
  The smooth sailing comes from my counting the days of calm. Since I've started this sight I've done several things to make changes in our daily being. Hired a housekeeper, changed my work schedule, started using the S.E.T. technique, told my daughter I was reading up on the issues of BPD and trying new ways of interacting with her. It's 4 weeks and we have not had a melt down yeah. In that time I have done everything possible to take all forms of stress and responsibility off of her. Oh my gosh what a change in her mood. We actually have conversations now and she is not blaming me for everything or screaming at me. It is just so sad to think that her mind and psychological make cannot bear even the smallest of everyday life realities. I had for a long time wondered to myself; that if I was not helping her to cope and be responsible was I being an enabler? We have worked on it both ways with the result of attempting to get her to do even the smallest thing ending badly. And now going all the way out to remove any and all pressure from her. Now she is amazingly calm. It really hurts my mothers heart to understand the pain she feels inside of herself. Now the goal is for her to put her thoughts on therapy and find ways of implementing it into her day. Thanks everyone for being here for me.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Mutt]

Hi bluek9,



That’s awesome that you can talk to your D and it’s a month since she’s been emotionally dysregulated   I can understand feeling for someone and what they’re going through thankfully there is therapy that can help her. I’ll let someone more experienced with schema therapy and stepps offer you wise advice.

[Harley Quinn]

Hi bluek9,

I just wanted to join Mutt in congratulating you on the amazing progress with your D! 

Although I don't have direct experience with the therapies you mention, I can say that schema therapy gets really positive write ups in a lot of literature I've read when I was supporting my BPD partner on his PD pathway.  This is something I felt would be really effective for him.  I'm in the UK and a local mental health charity gave us lots of info on this type of approach which stood out to me.  I'd suggest you get plenty of input from her doctors about the options and ask for feedback on results before you make decisions. 

I also met a lady in a group I was attending who had glowing things to say about STEPPS.  The main thing to think about is what you feel your D would respond best to.  Don't forget that one intervention that works well for one individual may not have the same result for another.  You know your D best, so ensure you make informed decisions with her and those professionals she deals with.  Go with what feels right to you all as a collective.  She needs to be comfortable with it to get the most out of it. 

Love and light x