undiagnosed BPDGF (Maybe XGF at this point) Furious that I missed her call

[jpounce]

OK, so I called her on my lunch break at my job, (she lives at home and doesnt work), we talked for an hour . A very  pleasant conversation about how I wanted tocome see her soon and take her out for lunch and a glass of wine. how we couldnt wait to be together and spend time in eachothers arms. Conversation ended with each of us saying I love you. Texted her late evening as I worked late. Just said I love you sweetheart, to which I got I love you back. Straightened up my place. Let my dog out one last time for the night, shut off my phone and fell asleep cause I had to be in the office the next day at 6:30AM.

Well, I missed a call from her at about 10:30 that night, she wnted to talk cause she just had an argument with her mom. She called again and again over night eventually leaving me screaming, crying curse laced messages about how its obvious I dont care about her at all.

The next morning, I got to work at about 6:20 AM. Turned on my phone, opened up my email and between texts, emails, and voicemails. Shed left me about a dozen mesages saying I'm never there for her, (Not true, I bend over backward trying to help her and make sure she knows I love her), saying its obvious to her that I have no concern for her , How she's done with me because she needed to talk to me and I didnt pick up, cursing me off. Accusing me of probably being with another woman,( I'm not and have never given her reason to think I might be ), and telling me she's "Gone", and one last message saying " F. U. Thanks for nothing. Nice knowing you!" 

All that, over night, while I was sleeping. Mind you, the last conversation we had prior to this was that previous afternoon, a very nice conversation, ending with both of us saying I love you to eachother.

Eratic behavior from an always beautiful, sometimes wonderful fun to be with girl, caught up in the labyrenth of what I suspect is a BPD mind.

   

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[Woolspinner2000]

Hi Jpounce, 

Hmm... .what a rough night. We're you surprised by what happened or had you seen inklings of this behavior before? I'm sure sorry as it must be rather shocking. She must have been feeling pretty bad after the argument with her mom.

Where do you see the relationship now?

Wools

[Lakebreeze]

Hi jpounce.
This sounds really frustrating. She knew you needed to work in the morning and that you were sleeping. The minute her call went to voicemail that all went out the window.
Have you talked to her since this happened? If not I'd strongly recommend reviewing some of the articles on this site about JADE and setting boundries.
My uBPDh works night shift. We have had very similar situations to the one you described after he texts me at 2am and I dont respond because I'm sleeping. I have managed to handle the situation by always texting a goodnight right before I go to bed ( someone on this site came up with that solution) That was he doesn't feel quite so abondoned and invalidated when I don't respond.
Deep breaths and stay calm!
Good luck!

[gotbushels]

Hi jpounce  

I've been there too. The pleasant talk in the afternoon and one at night where the SO attempts to bring an issue to you and blows up a few hours later.

All that, over night, while I was sleeping.

Yep. It looks bizarre as a one-off example of a couple in a relationship.

Eratic behavior from an always beautiful, sometimes wonderful fun to be with girl, caught up in the labyrenth of what I suspect is a BPD mind.

Indeed.

Well, I missed a call from her at about 10:30 that night, she wnted to talk cause she just had an argument with her mom. ... ." F. U. Thanks for nothing. Nice knowing you!"  

It seems that the argument set her off and she then didn't know what to do with that anger.

Shed left me about a dozen mesages saying I'm never there for her

Well, just because you aren't available at 10.30pm on a night before work doesn't mean you're never there for her.

I'm never there for her, (Not true,

Good job validating your own opinions through this.

If you wanted to go forward on this, I'd support what Lakebreeze said by going on by avoiding JADE-ing her around these times and in these discussions. Don't JADE her in spite of her inconsistent behaviour.

I hope you find peace.