A letter to my ex BPD partner

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

I think I need to say these things tonight and I hope lots of you post your similar speeches you’d like to say to your ex:

Dear M. ,
 Id like to thank you for destroying a part of me that took 41 years to build .While you are off on vacation again with your friend ,leaving your children home and you ex bf that  dumped you,I hope you have such a great time.Thank you for not loving me in anyway and pretending this whole time to satisfy your vampiric BPD requirements for emotional fulfillment (since you can’t produce your own).Thank you for mirroring me and pretending you were my ideal soul mate ,slowly eating away at my self respect and dignity and confidence slowly withering me away like a raisin.
Thank you for ruining intimacy for the next woman I may let in but probably not.Thank you for playing on my dreams of wanting a child ,and a wife .
I can label you a BPD and that should cover your illness and save your responsibility because of a childhood of either abuse or poor parenting:but I won’t let that blanket absolve you of everything you do that’s evil and bad! I still think to an extent ppl like you are possessed in a way like energy Vampires.A part of me still loves you so deeply and a part of my wants to put you down like a raved dog before you hurt someone else!

[Shawnlam]

I think I need to say these things tonight and I hope lots of you post your similar speeches you’d like to say to your ex:

Dear M. ,
 Id like to thank you for destroying a part of me that took 41 years to build .While you are off on vacation again with your friend ,leaving your children home and you ex bf that  dumped you,I hope you have such a great time.Thank you for not loving me in anyway and pretending this whole time to satisfy your vampiric BPD requirements for emotional fulfillment (since you can’t produce your own).Thank you for mirroring me and pretending you were my ideal soul mate ,slowly eating away at my self respect and dignity and confidence slowly withering me away like a raisin.
Thank you for ruining intimacy for the next woman I may let in but probably not.Thank you for playing on my dreams of wanting a child ,and a wife .
I can label you a BPD and that should cover your illness and save your responsibility because of a childhood of either abuse or poor parenting:but I won’t let that blanket absolve you of everything you do that’s evil and bad! I still think to an extent ppl like you are possessed in a way like energy Vampires.A part of me still loves you so deeply and a part of my wants to put you down like a raved dog before you hurt someone else!

[ArleighBurke]

Yeah – I remember feeling your level of pain. When it felt like life wasn’t fair - that the fairy tale life you were supposed to live together was shattered.

I wish things could have been different.

But they aren’t.

For whatever reason - life deals us our hand. Sometimes is cr@ppy. Sometimes it feels unfair. Sometimes I feel like screaming WHY and just drowning myself in hatred, blame and self pity.

But that doesn’t help. I allow myself to feel ripped off, I allow myself to mourn the loss of my dream. But then I get back up. This is *my* life. It is far from over. I am the captain and I get to choose where I go. And my 15yrs married was not lost time. There were lessons in there I needed to learn. And perhaps she was the perfect person to teach me those. I have risen above all that – a new man – with new skills – with resolve. And I thank her for that.

“sometimes we must fall to learn to pick ourselves up again.” -Alfred

[heartandwhole]

Shawnlam,

Anger is an important stage of the grieving process. It's not always easy to do.

I remember feeling hit by a truck when I realized that the reality of the relationship I was in was light years away from the fantasy relationship I thought I was in.

How do you feel after writing this out?

heartandwhole

[Shawnlam]

It felt good writing it but also the glass of water feeling I have seems eternal.I pour rage and anger out and the glass fills up again.Im mad at what happened ,I’m upset because I know she’s already moved on probably having sex and doing drugs and booze in the south like our past relationship never existed.Why am I so upset that she’s self destructing her life ? She destroyed me yet here I am thinking of her well being? Who is sicker me or her for being like this?

[introvert]

It felt good writing it but also the glass of water feeling I have seems eternal.I pour rage and anger out and the glass fills up again.Im mad at what happened ,I’m upset because I know she’s already moved on probably having sex and doing drugs and booze in the south like our past relationship never existed.Why am I so upset that she’s self destructing her life ? She destroyed me yet here I am thinking of her well being? Who is sicker me or her for being like this?

Definitely her, dude. Don't lose perspective. The only way out is to build a new focus for yourself. We become so encapsulated by them that we lose our purpose. Do the hard thing and try to build that again.