Hello

[Ellie20]

Hello! I've recently learned about BPD with narcissistic tendencies and realized that my mom is a textbook example! Ever since coming to this realization just yesterday I can't stop reading and learning about this condition. My entire childhood and young adulthood suddenly makes so much sense!

Right now I'm looking for tips on how to improve my relationship with my mother (communication tips, coping strategies, etc) and also how to ensure that she can have a healthy, positive and safe relationship with my baby daughter (who she loves dearly and watches frequently). Thanks in advance for letting me be a part of the "family"!

[Turkish]

Hi Ellie20,

What types of things are you struggling with right now? Maybe pick the top one or two and we can dig deeper from there.  It sounds like your daughter is physically safe being watched by her,  yes?

SET (Support, Empathy,  Truth) is a good top level tool to learn: https://bpdfamily.com/content/ending-conflict

See the Read More discussion link at the bottom.  We have a lot more than this,  but this is a good place to start.

You said she has narcissistic tendencies.  How do those manifest?

Hope to hear more and how we can support you 



Turkish

[Kwamina]

Hi Ellie20

I would like to join our resident wolf in welcoming you here

What are the main BPD traits you see in your mother? What would you say are your mother's most difficult or unsettling behaviors?

Right now I'm looking for tips on how to improve my relationship with my mother (communication tips, coping strategies, etc) and also how to ensure that she can have a healthy, positive and safe relationship with my baby daughter (who she loves dearly and watches frequently).

Turkish has pointed you to a great communication technique. There are also other techniques described on this site, the crucial thing in all of them is that we focus on our own behavior and responses. We cannot change or control what the other person does, but we can work on our own behavior.

Setting and enforcing/defending boundaries is also a very important tool often discussed on this site in relation to dealing with BPD family-members. Boundaries are primarily aimed at ourselves and keeping ourselves safe and healthy. Do you generally feel comfortable setting (and enforcing/defending) boundaries with people? Do you feel comfortable setting boundaries with your mother?

I am glad you joined our site

The Board Parrot