Feeling like I have been chewed up and spit out. :(

[Hope66]

Today is ... .the start of this new ride for me. I have been to my doctor's and let him in on the suicide attempt (Thur morning), hospitalization, BPD diagnosis for our 31 yo D. I have called our crisis helpline and I enrolled in a family support group (they will call me back to let me know when and where) I still need to call a bunch of other people to get the balls rolling but I'm tired and just want to talk to you guys for a bit.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[MomMae]

... .and we are hear, listening, Hope66.

I am so sorry for everything you are going through.  New ride indeed - and not one any of us would choose to be on.  You are doing great though.  It is exhausting to have to organize all that needs to be done, and call people that you really don't want to call.  You are to be commended for doing it, though... It takes an awful lot of tenacity to persevere at times, I know.  Is your daughter accepting of this help from you?  Where we are in Canada, they expect the person with the mental illness to do all the leg work, which is absolutely ridiculous.  It is like jumping through hoops while walking on a tightrope to try to get help.  Being just the right mix of aggressive and thankful, in order to get the help without pissing off the people you need it from.

We are here to listen and offer what support we can, Hope66.  We have your back, you are not alone. 

  MM

[Hope66]

Thanks MM,
We are in Canada also. Yes they want her to do it herself, which will be good for her. But I WILL NOT let this fall apart again! If I have to go to the MP and stat our case I will. My family is worth fighting for. The whole country is tooting mental awareness but the wait lists are too long and the system overworked. Help is elusive.
and... .
I'm living on coffee to survive. Working on eating better but even that effort seems hard after hours on the phone. I have insurance but because she is 31, she is no longer on ours and she has non of her own.

sorry venting.

Thank you for your support. I means a lot too me.

[bluek9]

Hi Hope66,

          Venting is always good, and this is the right place to do it. I'm totally with you on the exhausted part. I think to myself man it's a good thing I don't have any major medical problems to manage; I have to manage my daughters and my grandsons. It's constant doctors visits, counseling 2 times a week, long distance driving to the psychiatrist one a month, school issues with my grandson, dd services. All the daily stuff that goes into keeping an adult BPD with Asburgers and grandson with Autism going in the right direction.
          I'm in the USA it's the same here, I get told she is an adult she needs to make her own appointments and arrangements, then I have to get assertive. You are right, your family is worth it, as parents we fight for that non-stop. Any time you need to vent or need some encouragement stop here.

[please]

Hi a third Canadian here   

I am so sorry
I like the picture you paint with your words. I see my cat vomiting the lettuce she just ate! We being the lettuce.

I hope things are better with mobilising the troops for you!
All my best to you.

[please]

I wanted to add how hard this is.
Yes I wish the mental health system was better. It is so difficult.
Please know you are doing hero's work helping her as best as you can
XXX

[Hope66]

Hi again,

Nice to see you today Please hope you are having a good day. I just drove to the city to drop D off at a group appointment at the EMHU. So now I have am hour and a half to myself before I pick up the kids from school. I love when no one is home. 

Hi Bluek9,

Nice to meet you. I get all you said about appointments, Life is all that and a bag of chips. I have major health issues. May 28th 2016 I was diagnosed with Myelopathy in my C3/4 and C6/7. That is a narrowing of my spinal column, at both sights, in my neck.The C3/4 (at the base of my scull) was starting to impact my spinal cord and causing a host of symptoms. I was being paralyzed from my neck down. I got this news while fighting to get guardianship of my 2 grandkids from foster care. So seeing neurosurgeons, prepping for surgery in 30 days, working full time, jumping hoops with child services and worried about my D who was being evicted from her apt. 2 hrs away.

I had surgery, and now have traverse myelitis (spinal cord damage) and I'm on LTD (long term disability) from work. I take a crap load of meds every 8 hours and physio once a week. I am going to start swimming soon. Like when I get the energy to get my butt to the pool. All the stress has not "helped" my healing process at all. I need to spend some time, reprioritize and put me 1st. I need to be the best I can be for all of them. and I need to show my granddaughter the importance of self thru my actions.

I have an 11 yo (granddaughter)  in counselling, a 5 yo (grandson) who we think has autism and has 1 occupational therapy appt, 1 counselling appt and 1 social autism class per week. Plus all the after school activities for both... .an 11 yo girl's "hormones", running a house hold and struggling with a D w/BPD (but didn't know what it was). And a hubby that hides in his computer and is distant.

Man I sound pathetic.
 
I have a 2nd D (28 yo) with aspergers. She has 2 degrees form University Honours Math and Honours Computer Programming and is now getting her Masters in securities. (so proud of her). She has struggles and I help where I can but she also helps me. She is kind and supportive.

Life gives us lemons and I make Mojitos (I know it's really limes but just roll with it... )