I am seeking ways to better care for myself and ways to communicate smarter.
Hi Mimib. And welcome.
Your goals for being here are exactly what mine were... .are they still are. It's a good place to start.
and don't know if things still have to get worse before they get better.
This depends on your specific situation. What's going on in your lives, how you both act and talk, and what BPD traits he has that are causing problems.
That said, things don't
necessarily have to get worse before they get better. For example, I didn't help my own situation for multiple years because it took me a long time to figure out what was really going on, and then longer to adapt.
You mentioned your elevated anxiety, and that your interactions with him have been negative lately. Have you noticed any connection between the two?
-ngu