Just got "served" over email, 2 days after anniversary

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I'm starting to question how I ever believed this woman cared about me whatsoever.

She's been shady as hell throughout the filing process, lied about how it was all going to happen, told me she'd give me a heads up on when to expect things in the mail, and sure enough I just got an email from her with all of the paperwork to sign. Two days after our anniversary, no less. Just cruel. It's like she planned to do it this way, to achieve maximum cruelty.

I guess I can be grateful that this means things are officially over between us. When I asked why I was receiving over email and not in the mail like she had told me, she basically just said "oh I'm sorry, I didn't know I could email to you but I can so here you go."

I think my mom said it best: Good Riddance.

[lighthouse9]

I'm starting to question how I ever believed this woman cared about me whatsoever.

She's been shady as hell throughout the filing process, lied about how it was all going to happen, told me she'd give me a heads up on when to expect things in the mail, and sure enough I just got an email from her with all of the paperwork to sign. Two days after our anniversary, no less. Just cruel. It's like she planned to do it this way, to achieve maximum cruelty.

I guess I can be grateful that this means things are officially over between us. When I asked why I was receiving over email and not in the mail like she had told me, she basically just said "oh I'm sorry, I didn't know I could email to you but I can so here you go."

I think my mom said it best: Good Riddance.

[ForeverDad]

Consult with a lawyer.  Somehow I doubt "service by email" is a valid way to serve you.  I believe most state require the server to document how the other party was served in order to prove service.

Is this just divorce paperwork or is there a docket number or court date stamp proving it's been filed in court?  If a case has really been filed, you can probably view the existence of the case on the county's family or domestic court website.

[lighthouse9]

Thank you - I have a text out to a friend (lawyer) who was advising me in the beginning. I'll look for everything you mentioned. Honestly though, at this point, if the paperwork is good I'm going to sign and walk away. It's just the way it went down that was so *her* as I know her now. What's it that we teach on here? The "real" person isn't the love bombing person, it's the one who has been devaluing and discarding.

I've managed to stay really well distracted tonight with projects and fun things, so aside from the initial anger I think I'm doing ok for now. What the heck though - she had to get in one more gut punch. Thank God I learned this about her before we had children together.

[Harley Quinn]

Lighthouse, I'm so sorry to hear that things have happened this way.  It's disappointing that she didn't hold up her end as promised and I hope that this behaviour does help you to detach and heal more easily, turning it from a needless cruelty into something that can be utilised positively as you say.  You are doing so well at working through your process and I'm sad for you that things cannot be easier.  Hope that everything legal is dealt with simply and quickly without complication so that you can get through the difficult 'it's final and real' stage onto a feeling of anticipation of a new adventure in life on your terms.

Glad that you've posted here for input and experience.  Wise move 

Love and light x