I know most 12 yo boys are hormonal and can be jerkish, but I feel like his actions are different than the normal teen attitude. And this has been going on since he was 10. There are lots of little things in his behavior that are bizarre, but there are 2 things in particular that bother me and it’s putting a strain on my mom (his grandma) and me because I’m starting to vocalize how inconsiderate he is and my mom wants to play it off like he’s perfect.
Why do you think your mom/his grandma wants you to play it off like he is perfect?
Before I give the details on the 2 odd behaviors that I’m most hurt by, I’d like to add that I believe I’m the ideal aunt that all kids dream about. I didn’t have nice Aunts when I was growing up, so my mission since he was born was to be a good one to him. If he wants it, I’ll buy it. If he wants to go somewhere, I’m taking him. If he wants to sing loud and crazy in the car, I’m joining along. Aside from being the fun aunt, I’m also very loving and have open arms at all times. My mom is the same way towards him since it’s her only grandchild.
Is there a reason why you and your mother have validated all of his behaviors at all times? Do/have either of you (prior to now) ever enforce(d) rules for bad behavior?
Issue 1: he’s had a cellphone that he’s glued to since he’s been 10. If my mom or I text him, he simply ignores us. I questioned him about it when he was 11 and he said he just isn’t a texter and he doesn’t open our texts. Ok, I accepted that. Until I learned that he is known as the king of texting among his peers. So he lied. Ok, kids do lie a lot, but why constantly ignore 2 ppl who do anything for you?
Who gave him the phone and sets the rules regarding its use?
My last text to him was me asking if he wants to go shopping for his school clothes at the new adidas and under armor stores near me. He loves those brands and he is particular about his clothes. Instead of a reply, he ignored me. After a few days, I texted my God Child who is 13. I’m definetely not as close to him as my nephew, but he replies to me at least. I instead took him shopping and he was the most grateful kid ever and I only spent 50 bucks on him. Over my nephews lifespan, I’ve never gotten a thank you or any form of excitement from him for the very very expensive and cool things/gifts I’ve given him.
So what is different about the way your nephew was raised vs. the way your godchild was raised?
Issue 2: not only does he ignore Mom and I when we text/call, he now ignores us when we go to his house. He’ll literally not say a word when we are there or if we get in the car with him in it. Nothing. He may reply by shrugging his shoulders or nodding his head if we are lucky. But otherwise?
Why do you think he does this? Has he ever observed anyone else treating either of you this way?
My mom recently made plans through his mom to take him fishing, his favorite sport, last Monday. She got to his house and visited with his mom for a few while he was eating breakfast. He finished eating and went to his room. My mom and his mom assumes he’s be getting dressed. But it was taking a while. So my mom knocked on his door. No reply. As she was walking in, he climbed into bed.
Did she ask him why he was getting into bed when she had made plans through his mother to go fishing?
Children do not generally develop behaviors without being exposed to something that triggers them. Do you think he may have been exposed to something that would cause him to behave this way ... .outside the normal teenage rebellion stuff?
L2T
