Hello Lovingwhatis, and welcome.
It can be interesting to look at the moniker someone chooses for themselves. Sometimes I will try to read between the lines and visualize the make-up of that person. After all you have gone through (are going through!), you have chosen... ."
Lovingwhatis." Hmmmmm? So... .I'm surmising... .discouraged and worn out but, by all means, not broken.
You write... .
"I'm here to learn, to contribute, to get support for me and my husband, daughter and other family members as we set difficult limits for our well being." What a great introduction!
Indeed, at this stage of the game you realize that there will be no quick fixes. There will be no one to tell you of a "magic button" to push that will turn all around. Nope... .not going to happen!
You certainly have come to the right place, though, to "learn/contribute/get-support." What works for some, doesn't work for others. Trial and error... .but always putting one foot in front of the other... .sometimes finding you have to turn down another path.
A lot of the healing for me came in the writing... .seeing my hurts in words... .then reading and re-reading my words. I knew I was the only one who could make decisions for me but along the way I got messages from others, filled with much-needed support and validation.
Gotta tell ya... .feels good to reach out and help others, too. That, at times, can help to take one's focus off oneself - giving a bit of a break.
Of course my heart goes out to you... .but also for your son. His start in life was not a good one... .so many problems. Lucky for him, though, to have come into the folds of a loving-forever-family.
With all that said, I'm sure you know that feeling sorry for him is not the answer. As hard as it can be, tough love is sometimes the best love. I sincerely hope, that no matter what happens, you stay secure in the knowledge that you (and your family) have done (and are doing) the best you can to help him through life.
So... .hope you keep sharing with us because there are others walking in similar shoes and it is helpful for them to read your posts.
What has been happening with your son and what "limits" are you considering?
Huat
(By the way... ."Huat"... .? When I came on board here, we had just come back from a vacation in Huatulco Mexico. Not much to read between lines there, huh?
