Wrote to say she's leaving the state

[Parents! Get help here!]

Thanks HB. I am sure just leaving her alone is the correct thing to do. What you say about responding and showing our emotion gives them the feeling of power (control) makes sense. With my daughter it has all been about control (... .in the past she would do things as small as always change the time for her to be picked up, even by a few minutes to show she was in control). Remarkably, she does all this abuse to me and not her mother (who won't take the crap and simply blocks her). I was told at one time my DD said in a group session that her Dad was "easy". She knows me well and her using verbal and emotional abuse against me instead of her mother makes sense. How sick is that for her to do this. Like a bully in a playground.
In regard to her complaints about support, it is some financial since for once we will no longer pay for her housing. But most of the verbal abuse is that I "abandoned" her for the past 15 years (as well as "abused" her). I think this is what they call confabulation with a BPD (which they actually believe). She actually posted this on her Facebook page last year saying she had been abused by her parents.
I guess I will just stay back. Difficult as your therapist said because I do have a problem not knowing where or how she is doing.
OH, I am impressed by what you said to your DD. Just goes to show that you ladies are much stronger than us men!

[jones54]

Thanks HB. I am sure just leaving her alone is the correct thing to do. What you say about responding and showing our emotion gives them the feeling of power (control) makes sense. With my daughter it has all been about control (... .in the past she would do things as small as always change the time for her to be picked up, even by a few minutes to show she was in control). Remarkably, she does all this abuse to me and not her mother (who won't take the crap and simply blocks her). I was told at one time my DD said in a group session that her Dad was "easy". She knows me well and her using verbal and emotional abuse against me instead of her mother makes sense. How sick is that for her to do this. Like a bully in a playground.
In regard to her complaints about support, it is some financial since for once we will no longer pay for her housing. But most of the verbal abuse is that I "abandoned" her for the past 15 years (as well as "abused" her). I think this is what they call confabulation with a BPD (which they actually believe). She actually posted this on her Facebook page last year saying she had been abused by her parents.
I guess I will just stay back. Difficult as your therapist said because I do have a problem not knowing where or how she is doing.
OH, I am impressed by what you said to your DD. Just goes to show that you ladies are much stronger than us men!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Hyacinth Bucket]

My daughter hasn't contacted my husband (her dad) once through this whole thing. Kids definitely know who the soft one is, and in this case it's definitely been me historically. Like you said, she knows exactly what to say to me!