Further Removed, More Advice

[dylondawg]

Hello all,

Hope all of you are doing as well as you can and continuing your progress! I wanted to circle back here as it has been a few months since I’ve posted and I’d like to share some advice, as well as offer my personal experience with regards to moving on to the next, exponentially better and healthier stage of your lives. My number one no questions asked best piece of advice is absolutely no contact. None. Nothing. You need to understand that this mental illness is a pathology with which your compassion and kindness are not match, at all. To truly accept that and to understand that the common behavioral patterns amongst people with BPD or other cluster b disorders are so closely aligned as to be obvious as not individually based but rather pathologically so. There is a reason that behavior patterns amongst people with these disorders are recognizable; you will not be the one to “conquer” it with your love. Frankly, it is not worth it. This is not to say that I do not have compassion for people with BPD, or wish them negativity. Rather, it is the acceptance of another persons disorder and it’s toxicitity to your well being, as well as your helplessness to assist their recovery, that will allow you maintain your own well-being. Never sacrifice yourself for a romantic partner, that is insanity. You cannot love someone unless you truly love yourself. You are worthy of respect and the feeling of being valued. I’ve been with my new girlfriend for months now, and I can tell you all this night and day. Take what you’ve learned about yourselves and other people and apply it to actively trying to address your problems. They are the only ones you can control. And I promise you all, it can be so so so so so much better. I have never been happier. You can be too. Peace and love to you all.

Regards,
Dylan

[Beneck]

Hey Dylan! Thank you for you input!

If you don't mind me asking, how long has it been since separation and no contact? Just curious.