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Author Topic: Self care tips  (Read 599 times)
Squish18

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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
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« on: January 07, 2019, 11:40:50 AM »

Hello All

I am just     starting to realise how important self care is whilst in a relationship with pwBPD.

I am a huge culprit for bottling up my feelings and then they get on top of me. Does anyone keep a journal to write down their feelings etc as a way to let them out? I don’t have a support network with regards to friends/family I can turn to.

Any advice on this or other ways of self care would be fantastic and hopefully this can help someone else in a similar situation

P.s I have now started a really fun exercise class once a week which I attend on my own 
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Ozzie101
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« Reply #1 on: January 07, 2019, 11:48:05 AM »

My domestic violence counselor told me I should start every day with writing down one positive thought on a piece of paper. Carry it around all day and look at it when I feel down or upset. Then, at the end of the day, put it in a container. At the end of a month, I'll have 30-31 positive things. For me, some of them are memories (dinners with my grandparents. Some are just things that make me happy (my youngest niece's hugs, for instance). Some are positive attributes I feel like I have (eagerness to help people). It really does help my frame of mind and helps me stay positive.
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« Reply #2 on: January 07, 2019, 01:10:35 PM »

I don’t have a support network with regards to friends/family I can turn to.

im sorry to hear that Squish18. i hope youll lean on the family you have here 

what about a therapist?
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Steps31
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« Reply #3 on: January 07, 2019, 02:54:05 PM »

I also recommend a therapist, just to help ensure your needs and goals are being met... .
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Sportyman

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« Reply #4 on: January 07, 2019, 04:28:01 PM »

Any advice on this or other ways of self care would be fantastic and hopefully this can help someone else in a similar situation

P.s I have now started a really fun exercise class once a week which I attend on my own 

I am/was in a very similar situation. I lost myself trying to please my uBPDw and really lost sense of who I was. I'm still on the routine of daily journal writing; mornings are the toughest and taking a few minutes to jot down your emotions, your truth, and find a way to write something positive to aid you to start the day on a positive note is always helpful. I go back and read my journal from time-to-time to refresh my memory of what I've been through (I feel disassociated at times); and at that moment I am proud to say I always ended it with an uplifting positive note to myself.

Reading helps a lot, gaining strong understanding of the dysfunction, coping, and even your own tendencies (for my it was codependency) that revealed clarity in these difficult times.

Stay strong - take care of yourself and frequent these boards... even if you don't post, reading and knowing you aren't the only one suffering or healing is in some way therapeutic! All the best!
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Notgoneyet
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« Reply #5 on: January 07, 2019, 10:22:55 PM »

Squish18,
  Welcome to this board Welcome new member (click to insert in post). You will find a lot of support here. All of us here GET IT because we've lived it and a lot of us are still living it, sharing it here, learning coping skills , & many other great life skills right here everyday.
 
  Some of my favorite self care tips:
 - Daily exercise outside or away  from the house where the craziness may be happening. Dog walking ,Trail hiking, Park walks, Biking.
 -Yoga classes
 - Guided Meditation ,2-4 x's a week ,Daily during high stress wks.
 - Hobbies ,  fishing , banjo lessons ,home & auto repair
 - weekly Therapist visits
 - weekly 12 step group meetings
 
Sending you hope & serenity
 PS. Keep up the exercise classes & the Humor , It's taken me far!   
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