Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
October 31, 2024, 06:28:28 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: EyesUp, SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
81
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Should I tell him he has a PD?  (Read 404 times)
Perdita
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: 5 years in
Posts: 599



« on: February 18, 2019, 01:56:03 PM »

I don't intend to tell him he has BPD. After 6 years with him I have no doubt that he has, but I want him to figure it out in therapy.  He isn't even in therapy but I hope to get him back in.

What I am contemplating is telling him that he has a pd and that this is why all the medication his GP prescribes isn't helping.  We started 2019 with him on 2 antidepressants,  a tranquilizer and a mood stabilizer. I don't see how a GP is qualified to treat his condition.  He needs to learn coping skills.

The festive season was bizarre. There was a night between Christmas and New year's that really was too much for me. He said he was watching tv in the study and would come to bed when the movie was over. He said 30 minutes. I went to sleep around 11, but woke up 3 times realizing he still had not come to bed.  The 4th time I got up and half asleep I opened the study door to see what's going on.  There he was, sitting in the floor. Shoes on, trousers down to his ankles. He was mastrubating. I simply asked what the hell is going on, it's 3:30 in the morning.  Then I closed the door and went to sleep again. He never did come to bed.

What got me most about it is that my sister was staying with us for the holidays.  Her bedroom was right next to the study. She even told me in the morning that she got up twice during the night and found him still dressed and acting weird. He later confessed to me that he had gotten high and never slept that entire night.

I don't quiet know why, but that episode has stuck with me.  My reaction to walking in on it was like a wife that had seen this so many times that she wasn't even shocked or surprised. His behavior during the entire December was disturbing  in all kinds of ways that will take too long to go into.

Do I just tell him that I think he has a PD and that pills alone won't make him better?
Logged
Cat Familiar
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 7501



« Reply #1 on: February 18, 2019, 03:26:12 PM »

We don’t recommend telling your partner that you believe he has a PD. Here is a link about getting your loved one into therapy Get your family member into therapy

Perhaps he also has a substance abuse issue or a sex addiction. Both of those issues can be used as self soothing mechanisms.
Logged

“The Four Agreements  1. Be impeccable with your word.  2. Don’t take anything personally.  3. Don’t make assumptions.  4. Always do your best. ”     ― Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife



Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!