I just need to vent, sort things out in my head.

[Depression = 72% of members]

So I have decided to leave and have been working on my safety plan. She told me that we are going to have separate rooms from now on. I started to argue with her about it, how it doesn't feel like we are even a couple anymore, but I stopped. She made a comment, "What are you going to do? Leave me when you know I cant do it alone." (She hasn't worked for a few years and we are raising her grandchildren and supporting her son in jail.) She didn't say you cant leave me because I love you or I need you in my life. Has she been using me for all these years? Am I wrong? Please give me some feedback. Trying to sort these things out in my head and I need to feel stronger and clearer.

[Dazedconfused66]

So I have decided to leave and have been working on my safety plan. She told me that we are going to have separate rooms from now on. I started to argue with her about it, how it doesn't feel like we are even a couple anymore, but I stopped. She made a comment, "What are you going to do? Leave me when you know I cant do it alone." (She hasn't worked for a few years and we are raising her grandchildren and supporting her son in jail.) She didn't say you cant leave me because I love you or I need you in my life. Has she been using me for all these years? Am I wrong? Please give me some feedback. Trying to sort these things out in my head and I need to feel stronger and clearer.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[once removed]

whats her reasoning behind the separate bedrooms?

[Dazedconfused66]

When she is angry she says it is because my attitude disgusts her and she cant stand to look at me. When she is not angry she says that it is just because we like different tv shows and lots of couples do it and it is fine. When she is being especially mean I try to stay out of her way so I hide in my office. Several months ago she locked me out of the bedroom and I slept on the floor in my office to stay out of her way even in the morning. After that I put a small bed in the office because it was becoming a habit of hers to force me out or lock me out of our bedroom. So her reasoning is that I am in there all the time anyway so why shouldn't I live in there. I don't feel free to be anywhere else in the house so I guess it shouldn't matter to me. I guess it was the last part of us that felt almost normal and she told me she didn't miss it or even care to have it.