Sister with BPD and Bipolar disorder

[Our abuse recovery guide]

My sister with BPD and Bipolar disorder is going through a very difficult divorce. Experimenting with recreational drugs led to a severe manic episode (I did not know it was drug related at the time) that caused us to check her into the hospital. She is out now, but calls and texts me 24/7 accusing me of things that I never did, lashing out to my other sibling (who has made enormous sacrifices to help her) and generally everyone she can into her misery/drama.

How can I establish boundaries for myself while still being there for her? She has no one else to help her now, our parents are gone, her husband and child left (there is a big custody battle) and we are concerned for her personal safety. Sometimes I feel that she uses our concern to keep us engaged... .She does very little to help herself - no therapy, no support groups, just medicine to control her mania so it is very frustrating.

Advice or reading material is welcomed.

[xfcat]

My sister with BPD and Bipolar disorder is going through a very difficult divorce. Experimenting with recreational drugs led to a severe manic episode (I did not know it was drug related at the time) that caused us to check her into the hospital. She is out now, but calls and texts me 24/7 accusing me of things that I never did, lashing out to my other sibling (who has made enormous sacrifices to help her) and generally everyone she can into her misery/drama.

How can I establish boundaries for myself while still being there for her? She has no one else to help her now, our parents are gone, her husband and child left (there is a big custody battle) and we are concerned for her personal safety. Sometimes I feel that she uses our concern to keep us engaged... .She does very little to help herself - no therapy, no support groups, just medicine to control her mania so it is very frustrating.

Advice or reading material is welcomed.

[Harri]

Hi and welcome to the board though I am sorry for what brings you here. 

Are you hoping to establish boundaries around her calling you all day long?  If so, there is little you can do to keep her from calling you but you can choose how often you wish to answer her calls and how you want to handle her accusations.  We can help you with that.

To get an idea of what to discuss here, what sort of boundaries have you tried?  How have you implemented them?

Let's see what we can figure out.

In the meantime, I hope you feel free to read, post and jump into opther threads.  We all help and support each other.

[Kwamina]

Hi xfcat

Joining Harri in welcoming you to our online community.

Sounds like your sister is struggling with some serious issues. Dealing with a disordered family-member can be quite difficult indeed.

It's unfortunate that your sister seems to do little to help herself, why do you think that is? Do you feel like she acknowledges and understands the full extent of her issues?

It's quite unpleasant being falsely accused of things. How do you usually respond to the things she says? Do you respond at all to her false accusations?

The Board Parrot

[JNChell]

Hey there, xfcat. Welcome to the community. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed with trying to navigate the relationship with your sister. You mentioned boundaries and suggestions for material to read. Here’s a link to a great article on setting boundaries.

https://bpdfamily.com/content/setting-boundaries

What is your sister saying when she is constantly contacting you? Have you introduced your other sibling to this site? It might be helpful for both of you to interact here.

I’m sorry that you had to find us, but glad that you’re here with us.